Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


♪YOU SUCK AT COOKING, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH♪ Okay, today, we’re making an open-faced breakfast sandwich. You’re gonna need.. Bread… Salt… Cheese… Butter… Avocado… and eggs. I thought of throwing those but that would have been a waste. And then what would we do? NOTHING. We’d have no sandwich. *smack* Hot sauce. You really should just stop watching the video and just… Assemble. Now, everyone’s old enough to make their own food choices and stuff like where you’re sourcing your ingredients from but, uh. One thing you really should consider is letting your eggs say goodbye to each other. Hey, Douglas. Hey, John. So I guess this is it, eh? Yeah, John, end of the line. I’m scared. It’s gonna be okay. Douglas? Yeah? That night… That we… I don’t wanna talk about it. But I just… Let’s just let it lie. Yeah, but I just… HUYABUBABULAH But I want… HUHALABUBABLAH Nmnm.. 🙁 You know something, John? Yeah, Douglas? That was one of the BEST nights of my GODDAMN life. That’s all I wanted to hear man. I’m not afraid anymore. It was like MAGIC. Like mind freak. Ehhh… I don’t know if I would say magic, but… You showed me something… about myself. Okay, you’re getting a little intense for me. That I never… I think I’m just gonna speed this process along now. DON’T. SHUT. ME. OUT. They say it hurts less if you hold your breath. JOHN! *inhales sharply* Whoa! Uhhhhhhhhhhh… Okay! So, guess we’re putting the eggs in. All right, let’s drink some wine for breakfast. Yep. Okay, so. OH FUCK, FUCK! AH FUCK, TOAST IS BURNING. FUCK! Shit. *grunt* *sizzling* FUCKING FUCK. UHH?? *chaos* My head is so far up my ass today. I honestly didn’t even want to shoot this. Get the guys out. Peel them up. Rinse them off. Drink some wine. Let’s not burn the toast again… Great! We have perfect toast this time! Rub it down with butter… Slice your eggs. Lengthwise. Make sure they’re aligned with the North and South poles for optimum Chi. Lay these out, however, you like. Take some avocado. Just throw some slices on. I think you don’t even give a care. I need to be way more drunk. Avocado, Avocado Dab some hot sauce. I love this chili sauce Good. pepper, pepper, pepper salt salt salt Ria, come have a bite of this and tell me what you think. *crunch**nomnomnom* [Ria] Holy shit. It’s good!
Are you just saying that?
[Ria] No! That’s good. Hold on. *crunch* *tumble tumble* *chuckle* ♪You suck at cooking and you suck at toast♪ [slow, sad piano music] ♫You suck at cooking. Oh my God. You suck, you suck.♫ ♫At cooking. Oh my God.♫ ♫You suck♫ ♫So♫ ♫Much♫ ♫At cooking. You suck, so…♫ ♫Much♫ [music stops] I forgot the parmesan. I just dropped my recorder into that water. Fuck. [music continues] ♫You suck at cooking. Oh my God. You suck, you suck♫ ♫At cooking oh my God you♫

100 thoughts on “Breakfast Sandwich – You Suck at Cooking (episode 5)

  1. When you watch the YSAC playlist it goes from most recent to oldest video, and let me tell you. Watching the egg and Pimblockto series in reverse has been fucking wild

  2. I'm sorry but this is a golf ball not egg🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

  3. Don't EVER drop eggs into boiling water. Or let them dive. Put cold water & eggs in & bring them to a boil. You know, like frogs.
    Gross.

  4. That moment when you think he bleeps profanity out and you play the video in front of your family..
    He-"FUCK, FUCK OH FUCK"
    me crying on the inside
    Yep… I'm fucked

  5. Your instructions have yet to fail me, yet I'm 18 in America. To drink or not to drink, that is the question.

  6. Yeah first no triple P and now a triple S? Whats this a comedy show? Come on man I thought we are professional here.

  7. So now you're including your wife or girlfriend in this debauchery! It's not bad enough that you murdered Douglass and John in cold blood but now you've made your lady friend into an accomplice…….you have no shame!!!

  8. "My head is so far up my ass today. I didn't even want to film this." This is what I say about everything I have to do at any given time because it's true. LOL

  9. Pepper,pepper,pepper!
    I’ll call pepper “pepper pepper pepper”from now on
    8 peppers in this comment!
    Holy pep

  10. Welp… tried to watch this with my daughter… she loves this channel, but all the swearing… Guess not… 😣😣😣

  11. eggs names: john and douglass
    me: wait jacksfilms real name is john AND HIS LAST NAME IS DOUGLASS🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *