♪YOU SUCK AT COOKING, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH♪ Okay, today, we’re making an open-faced breakfast sandwich. You’re gonna need.. Bread… Salt… Cheese… Butter… Avocado… and eggs. I thought of throwing those but that would have been a waste. And then what would we do? NOTHING. We’d have no sandwich. *smack* Hot sauce. You really should just stop watching the video and just… Assemble. Now, everyone’s old enough to make their own food choices and stuff like where you’re sourcing your ingredients from but, uh. One thing you really should consider is letting your eggs say goodbye to each other. Hey, Douglas. Hey, John. So I guess this is it, eh? Yeah, John, end of the line. I’m scared. It’s gonna be okay. Douglas? Yeah? That night… That we… I don’t wanna talk about it. But I just… Let’s just let it lie. Yeah, but I just… HUYABUBABULAH But I want… HUHALABUBABLAH Nmnm.. 🙁 You know something, John? Yeah, Douglas? That was one of the BEST nights of my GODDAMN life. That’s all I wanted to hear man. I’m not afraid anymore. It was like MAGIC. Like mind freak. Ehhh… I don’t know if I would say magic, but… You showed me something… about myself. Okay, you’re getting a little intense for me. That I never… I think I’m just gonna speed this process along now. DON’T. SHUT. ME. OUT. They say it hurts less if you hold your breath. JOHN! *inhales sharply* Whoa! Uhhhhhhhhhhh… Okay! So, guess we’re putting the eggs in. All right, let’s drink some wine for breakfast. Yep. Okay, so. OH FUCK, FUCK! AH FUCK, TOAST IS BURNING. FUCK! Shit. *grunt* *sizzling* FUCKING FUCK. UHH?? *chaos* My head is so far up my ass today. I honestly didn’t even want to shoot this. Get the guys out. Peel them up. Rinse them off. Drink some wine. Let’s not burn the toast again… Great! We have perfect toast this time! Rub it down with butter… Slice your eggs. Lengthwise. Make sure they’re aligned with the North and South poles for optimum Chi. Lay these out, however, you like. Take some avocado. Just throw some slices on. I think you don’t even give a care. I need to be way more drunk. Avocado, Avocado Dab some hot sauce. I love this chili sauce Good. pepper, pepper, pepper salt salt salt Ria, come have a bite of this and tell me what you think. *crunch**nomnomnom* [Ria] Holy shit. It’s good!
Are you just saying that?
[Ria] No! That’s good. Hold on. *crunch* *tumble tumble* *chuckle* ♪You suck at cooking and you suck at toast♪ [slow, sad piano music] ♫You suck at cooking. Oh my God. You suck, you suck.♫ ♫At cooking. Oh my God.♫ ♫You suck♫ ♫So♫ ♫Much♫ ♫At cooking. You suck, so…♫ ♫Much♫ [music stops] I forgot the parmesan. I just dropped my recorder into that water. Fuck. [music continues] ♫You suck at cooking. Oh my God. You suck, you suck♫ ♫At cooking oh my God you♫