Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


Before the break, we started playing a little
bit with some revivification, and did you all experience the emotions starting to arise,
it’s kind of pleasant, it’s fun, it’s wow, this is great stuff, right? Before we carry on down that path, I’d like
to have a chat about something which is of great importance to our work as hypnotherapists. It’s a fundamental understanding. It’s a point of view that no one can prove
or disprove. However, in my experience, if you adopt this
point of view, and I certainly have, it makes your life as a hypnotherapist infinitely easier
than not. It is your choice. Whether or not you accept it, it’s entirely
your choice, but I’m want to present you the frame of reference I use and why I use it
so that you can adopt or not as you wish. Does it makes sense? Sure. All right. Let’s highlight in black. (silence)
There’s a different between what people do and what they try to achieve by doing that
thing. There’s a difference between how people behave
and the intention, the purpose for that behavior, what they’re trying to achieve through that
behavior. For example, little Johnny is five years old,
goes to a new school. He walks up to some kids, says, “Hi,” and
they’re mean to him. Happens again the next day. He somewhat falls into this unpleasant rut
where he’s the kid that everyone picks on. So after a few weeks, maybe a few months of
this, what does he do when he goes to school? He walks in, and he’s mean back first before
they’re mean to him. You can see that happening, right? Yes. Little Johnny grows up, he leaves school. He grows up. He grows older, and then when he gets into
his older years, he’s this unfortunately bitter, old man who’s sitting or walking around playgrounds
shouting at kids. Is he a bad person? No. You can clearly see what he’s doing is he’s
trying to protect himself. He’s running out an old pattern that he’s
never managed to master. He doesn’t need to be mean to kids anymore,
does he? He doesn’t need to protect himself from that
anymore. His behavior has become useless or pointless
at this stage. However, the intention he’s trying to do to
protect himself emotionally from harm, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? While as at the same time, his behavior, being
mean to kids, that’s a good thing, is it? You see how that works? So the belief or the point of view that I
happen to have, and you’re welcome to share or not is aside from some, shall we say, issues
where their biology is a case where there’s brain damage or something like that, in the
average person, shall we say, every behavior is motivated by a positive intention. No matter how bad the behavior is, the intention
is always a positive, good thing, something you would approve of, something that is respectable. The behavior, however, may be atrocious. Do you see where I’m going with this? Every behavior someone engages in will have
some kind of positive intention, something that that person needs that is good for that
person. The irony is this. Most negative behaviors like that don’t actually
serve that intent. They’re actually inadequate for reaching that
outcome. That’s why they’re stuck in a compulsion with
it. Here’s the problem. What happens when you say to someone, “You
need to stop doing that.” What if you go to the old man, old Johnny
now on the playground is telling off young kids and someone comes up to him and says,
“You have to stop talking to kids like that. It’s not right.” What is he hearing? You’re not [inaudible 00:04:31]. “You have to stop protecting yourself. That’s not right,” because to him, the same
thing, at least the way the unconscious mind is reasoning at that point. You see where I’m going with this? That’s why he’ll resist it, because to the
extent you try and change the behavior only and you’re not taking care of whatever the
behavior is trying to achieve, well, there’s a void there. However, what if you were to walk up to Johnny’s
unconscious, the one that’s running this whole thing? You manage to get into a dialogue and show
Johnny’s unconscious mind that if he behaved in a different way, he was nice to kids, not
only would he protect himself from them being mean back, but actually, his reward would
go far beyond that. What do you think the chances are that if
the unconscious mind accepted the idea that his behavior would change? 100%. Pretty certain, right? Because we’ll all do the things that will
get us the best result to the extent that we know. So, we need to be able to separate this idea
of how people behave from what they’re trying to achieve by it. Once you can get past their behavior and look
at their intentions, you gain the power to transform their behaviors very easily, because
the intention is satisfied. So, this idea of behavior versus intention,
does that make sense to you guys? Could you see it kind of in action in your
own lives, the people you’ve met, and so on, things like that? So once again, this gives you hopefully another
facet of that general idea, that general saying that what you resist will persist. What you accept, you gain the power to transform,
because what people resist is this. They’re resisting something. “I will not smoke now.” That’s willpower stopping your smoking, right? “I will not smoke.” They’re resisting their behavior. How well does that work? It doesn’t work at all, does it? It will persist because the intention has
not been satisfied, but what you accept, you gain the power to transform, because when
you accept all this, you’re also accepting this. This is what transforms that. Do you see how that works? It’s true in our own personal lives, how we
deal with ourselves. It’s true of other people. Of course, I can sit up here and pontificating,
“Oh, look how clever I am.” I get stuck in the exact same loops as everyone
else does. I’m no special guru in the mountain, but I
can tell you that as a therapist, this makes your life a heck of a lot easier because when
people come in complaining of a behavior, as soon as you find the intention behind that,
your ability to change the behavior, it’s easy. Does that make sense? Does this make sense to you guys? Yes. Yes.

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