Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


It’s corn season and this is around the time that ears make their way up field to spawn in the forest. Oh! You gotta catch ’em quick before, uh… Oh! Before they flop away to get to the forest. You won’t have a chance [grunts] to grab ’em.
[grunts again] Whoa. [intro music] This video is brought to you by HelloFresh,
the meal delivery service that is neato. “Shucking” – it’s a fancy word for peeling,
and how you shuck is a personal choice. The traditional method is to grab the husk
and shuck downward. Repeat this motion until the cob is husk-free.
You could also up-shuck it. These methods are hard work and you end up shucking yourself silly, so consider trying the golf shuck. [sound of golf swing] Corn! Or you can try playing shuck-minton. Or you could use the comprehensive spinning wheel dual-momentum shuck system. Or you can bucket shuck it.
[splish] You could throw it against a rock. [snaps] Whoops, don’t throw it against a rock. Or if you’re quick enough,
you could do the Falcon Shuck.
[sound of Falcon Punch] [grunts with effort] [whoosh] The Shuckatron 6™ is new technology
that’s based on particle theory and magic. You just slide it through there and just make sure to wash the particles
off of your corn after, ‘cuz particles aren’t good for you. And if you don’t like corn on the cob, you can take a hammer and get [bash] corn off the cob. Or you can buy this corn I’ve been developing
with Monsanto. It’s, uh, “cob-less corn” and the way we make it is
through genetic engineering. It’s perfectly healthy and safe we’re pretty sure. [shucking sounds]
Or you can try this corn sausage we’ve been making. It looks and tastes like real turkey sausage. And the way we make that
is by having a turkey [bleep] a cob of corn. To cook the corn, a lot of people think you just
fill a pot with water, boil the water, throw in the corn, add some salt, let it cook for a few minutes,
and then it’s done, and those people are correct. Applying butter to your corn is also a personal decision. Rookies will use a knife
which is a sloppy way to go about it. And it leaves your corn tasting like butter and metal. This is the classic way, you just gently
roll your cob in the butter until it’s coated. The more advanced way is to take a slab of butter and carve a corn hole into the side. Slide the cob into the corn hole and
twist it while moving it in and out until your cob is completely coated with butter. If your corn hole isn’t big enough, gently twist it with perseverance until it slides through easily. You could also stick butter onto some tongs,
tape those to a broom handle and butter your corn from a distance. This is a great technique if you suffer from
a strong fear of corn. Buttered corn can be slippery, so be sure to attach a handle, like this 2.71a Philip Screwdriver. I just made up the 2.71a part. But yeah, that’s corn on the cob,
and it’s more delicious than corn on the log or corn in the bog, or corn on the saw, or corn on the dog, or corn in the fog,
or corn on the job, or corn in the clog,
or corn on Bob, or corn on the slob,
which the same thing. Get your shit together Bob. Seriously. And it’s obviously best eaten as on corn on the knob. And if you’re sick of corn, consider trying HelloFresh. These meals come out of this box weekly. You have to put ’em together
with these fresh ingredients, which is not much more complicated than shucking. These recipes take around 30 minutes,
which is only 19 more than boiling corn, and look what you end up with, even Bob could do this. [chewing sounds] You don’t have to risk getting lost in a corn field,
which is dangerous. I made this stuff and my friends like me more after,
which boosted my self esteem even though I overcooked the steak. For $40 off your first week of deliveries,
go to hellofresh.com and
enter code YSAC when you subscribe. And now listen to my song about what corn dreams of. [song with acoustic guitar]
♪ Another day living in a row ♪ ♪ moving toward the sky, painfully slow. ♪ ♪ The sun comes up and the sun goes down. ♪ ♪ Nothing ever changes this close to the ground. ♪ ♪ Seems more exciting to be one of the trees. ♪ ♪ The best thing that happens is a mild breeze. ♪ ♪ She was born in a field but she don’ known why ♪ ♪ because at night she dreams of the sky. ♪ [electric guitar joins] ♪ ‘Cuz she wants to be a fighter jet on a mission of reconnaissance. ♪ ♪ Mach 5, gathering intelligence. ♪ ♪ Long tide, skim the surface, staying dry. ♪ ♪ Power ‘cross the waves without ever getting wet. ♪ [fwoop] ♪ Backfire, cruising supersonic speed. ♪ ♪ Arms up, hands flapping in the breeze. ♪ ♪ Far from the dirt with no regrets ♪ ♪ [jet whoosh] She wants to be a fighter jet. ♪ [jet whooshing away] ♪♪

100 thoughts on “Corn on the Cob – You Suck at Cooking (episode 45)

  1. Shucking my head BOB
    Pull your shuck together, your parents must be very dissacornted. You should get a job before the laziness engrains itself into you, it'll be too plate! I wheat I could help but you're on your own now.

  2. When you wrought "porn videos" but it auto corrected to "corn videos" and then you got this

    I see this as an absolute win.

  3. Oh man that song at the end…I haven't laughed that hard in a while. You are a singular talent my friend. Well done. Much praise.

  4. Were you abused by a crazy chef with a cucumber? This sexual tension you have with food, although being very funny is not healthy…….Thanks for the video….I think?

  5. Corn on the Cob But Instead of the Corn Bone it's a Hotdog- You Suck at Cooking (episode 92)

    Plzzzz

  6. And, the first viewing of the second video I’ve now watched from your channel. Equally as entertaining as episode 92 (the first video I watched from your selection). Great production , hilarious puns and heroic corn story at the end. Thanks! (Also, I’ve invited others to enjoy this wonderful content)

  7. Corn chucker at the end. You can have seasonal tournaments! And I almost lost the coffee in my mouth at the up chuckin. You are so good, thank you so much.

  8. I hate the fact that the more you binge these vids and have been increasingly romantically deprived, you find the monotone voice and mediocre jokes more and more charming

  9. No wonder men are funny. Its the corn. Its the unlimited variety of ways to make something of it. Look at Kellogg and all the laughter that came from making every corn flake identical.

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