Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


LET’S GET INTO THE NEWS. THE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY
CONTINUES AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. TODAY, ALEXANDER VINDMAN, A
DECORATED ARMY VETERAN AND WHITE HOUSE NATIONAL SECURITY
OFFICIAL, TESTIFIED THAT HE WAS SO CONCERNED BY WHAT HE HEARD ON
TRUMP’S PHONE CALL WITH THE UKRAINE, HE REPORTED IT TO HIS
SUPERIORS. HE SAYS HE REPORTED IT OUT OF A
“SENSE OF DUTY” TO THE COUNTRY. TO WHICH TRUMP SAID, “A SENSE OF
WHAT TO THE WHO?” (LAUGHTER)
VINDMAN FEARED THAT THE ADMINISTRATION’S HANDLING OF
UKRAINE WOULD “UNDERMINE NATIONAL SECURITY.” BUT WHAT DOES HE KNOW? ‘S JUST A DECORATED WAR
VETERAN. HE’S NEVER EVEN BANKRUPTED A
CASINO. SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI SAID THAT
THE HOUSE WILL TAKE A VOTE ON THURSDAY TO FORMALIZE
IMPEACHMENT PROCURES AGAINST THE PRESIDENT. SO, EVEN THOUGH THE TE IS ON
HALLOWEEN, FOR SOME OF US, IT’S GOING TO FEEL KE CHRISTMAS. TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS NOT AN
IMPEACHMENT VOTE. ‘S A VOTE TO SET THE
PROCEDUR OF THE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRWHICH COULD EVENTUALLY
LEAD TO LK ABOUT POTENTIALLY HOLDING THE REAL IMPEACHMENT
VOTE, WHICH, AT THIS RE, LET’S BE HONEST, WILL NOHAPPEN IN
OUR LIFETIME. THIS VOTE IS COMING SIX WEEKS
IN THE INQUIRY. SO, BASICALLY, IF THIS WERE A
RELATIONSHIP, ‘RE IN THE “WHAT E WE?” PHASE. “AREE GOING TO GET SERIOUS
ABOUT DENDING THE CONSTITUTION, OR ARE WE JUST
FOING AROUND HERE?” ( LAUGHT )
IN OTHER TRUMP NEWS, THE PRESIDENT AND THE FIT LADY
HOSTED A HALLOWEEN CELEBRATION AT THE WHITE HOUSE LAST NIGHT. HERE THEY ARE, HERE. AS YOU CAN SEE, TRUMP IS DRESSED
IN THE SAME UNCONVINCING “PRESIDE” COSTUME HE’S BEEN
BUT THINGS GOT A LITTLE WEIRD WHEN THEY STARTED HANDING OUT
CANDY TO THE TRICK-OR-TREATERS. WATCH THIS VIDEO. LOOK AT THAT CUTE MINION. RATHER THAN PUTTING THE CANDY
BAR IN THE BAGTRUMP’S PUTTING WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? THOSE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO
FINITELY DON’T KNOW HOW CHILDREN WORK. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. TRUMP SHOULD BE VERY COMFORTABLE
ARND MINIONS. HIS BINET IS FULL OF THEM. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COME ON. THE WHITE HOUSIS NOW THAT
CREEPY MANSION EVERYONE’S TOO SCARED TO VISIT ON HALLOWEEN. KIDS ARE LIKE, “DON’T GO UP
THERE, DUDE. I HEAR YOU’LL JUST END UP WITH
A CANDY BAR ON YOUR HEAD.” MOVING ON. WE HAVE A NEW STUDY TO TELL YOU
ABOUT. 50% OF AMERICANS SAY THEY CAN’T
START THEIR DAY ON A POSITIVE NOTE UNLESS THEY HAVE COFFEE. THEY SAID COFFEE REALLY HELPS
WAKE THEM UP. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT SPILLS ALL
OVER THEIR LAPS IN THE CAR. ( LAUGHTER )
50% OF AMERICANS SAY THEY CAN’T START THEIR DAY WITHOUT COFFEE
AND 100% OF KEURIG SPOKESPEOPLE ARE GLAD TO HEAR IT. “KEURIG. BREW THE LOVE.” ( LAUGHTER )
FINALLY, WE HAD TO SHOW YOU THIS. A FEW WEEKS AGO, WE TOLD YOU
ABOUT A SWEDISH PHOTOGRAPHER WHO SPENDS HOURS AND HOURS
TRYING TO GET WILD SQUIRRELS TO POSE FOR QUIRKY PHOTOGRAPHS. WELL, HE’S BACK, AND THIS TIME
WITH A HALLOWEEN-THEMED PHOTO. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
ISN’T IT SPOOKY, THAT SOMEONE HAS THIS MUCH FREE TIME? ( LAUGHTER )
IT MAY SEEM WEIRD THAT HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME ALONE TAKING THESE
PICTURES, BUT IT’S HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS WHEN YOUR OPENING LINE
IS, “CAN I SHOW YOU SOME OF MY SQUIRREL PHOTOS?”
( LAUGHTER ) HE RELEASED A HALLOWEEN-THEMED
SQUIRREL PHOTO WITH A PUMPKIN, WHICH WAS ODD ENOUGH, BUT HE
REALLY TOOK IT TOO FAR WITH THIS ONE FEATURING A SEXY NURSE
COSTUME. ( LAHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

46 thoughts on “Does Trump Know How Trick-or-Treating Works?

  1. I'm surprised Trump didn't try taking the kids' candy out of their bags. "Thank you for your sacrifice… this will go toward building the wall."

  2. Wow, I have not watched TV in over 6years and I still can't believe how far the IQ of today's tv watcher has dropped. Please people turn off the TV and pick up avbook. No not 50shades of what a hoe you are today.

  3. Man who heard conversation (a conversation anyone can read) was concerned. If you’re concerned, read the conversation.

  4. President jokes with child in puffy constume… what do you mean that’s what all news organization are running with today!? Oooooh we’re shitting on trump. Ok.

  5. This shit is funny to you clowns? You are not with America. You cant see what's actually happening. Give it a couple months, clowns like this will be out of business once the true corruption on the demoncat side is exposed. SHEEPLE ALL OF YOU!

  6. If this was a relationship we're in the "been robbed, betrayed and beaten by our no good partner and now we've gathered all our friends, tied him to a chair and start the long slow proces of telling all the crap he did".

  7. Why put it on the head of someone who's moving? That's like putting a ticket on a moving car's roof. Trump and his illegal bimbo slut are weirdos!

  8. And Melanie shows just how his supporters mimic him and follow his lead, regardless of idiot behavior, they all look like idiots with him.

  9. James: says something
    Me: "AHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA"
    James: "Uh.."
    Me: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR'E SO FUNNY OMG HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA"

  10. Trump could forget to take the trash out one night and the entire left “Does trump know how to take out the trash?”

  11. Get out of politics. It’s extremely annoying having to see this every time I want to watch a Corden video. This is supposed to be comedy, not propaganda.

  12. So we like the military now?I don't get the left.but sure another foreigner tell me how to think is great.i like low iq comedy like everybody but try being funny

  13. Not so much about treating but for sure he is an expert on tricking, specially when he tricks 300 million IDIOTS.

  14. Don't these late night shows have any other ideas then to make fun of TRUMP ? Oh wait it's Hollywood. ROLLING MY EYES COME ON HOLLYWOOD GIVE US SOMETHING ELSE THIS IS GETTING OLD !!!

  15. that's ok AOC dont know how a garbage disposal works and the democrats dont understand due process of law so i can give trump a pass on how some holiday that celebrates witches and demons and stuff works ..

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