Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


The average person spends 56 years of their life inside the kitchen. By using these time-saving kitchen hacks, you could bring that down to 1.6 hours. [intro song] Rifling through bags of spices just isn’t very nices. Transfer the spice to a small jar, like this. Then, tape the label onto the jar. Then make another label to put over that label to confuse spice thieves. Then put one more label to better express your individuality. Put that jar inside a mason jar. Give that a nice label as well. Put that jar inside a protein container. And this’ll allow you to improvise with flavors at a moment’s notice. Peeling the skin off garlic can be more frustrating than something that causes a maximum frustration. Cut the ends off, put them into a mason jar, and give them a good shake. Presto! Now you’re faced with the real problem of having to mince this. This problem is easily solved by buying a jar of pre-minced garlic and using that instead. When serving your dish, say, it’s a garlic sandwich, spread the garlic skin around the edges of the plate and make sure to say things like: or With this next tip you can throw your strainer into the garbage forever. Simply take your can, open it mostly on one side. Flip it over Open it fully on the other side. Run water through it and use the can’s natural straining properties to clean your beans. Make sure to fully wash your can afterward. Then, use that can as a plate. This will help you with portion control, and then you can just recycle the can afterward rather than throwing out a perfectly good ceramic plate each time you cook. That’s how you save the planet. When scrambling an egg, sometimes a bit of the shell [mechanical sounds] gets inside the egg which can be- [robot voice] Hello. Could you not, please? [robot voice] Oh. Well, I was just… – Yeah, like, I’m right in the middle of a thing. [robot voice] Oh… [robot voice] Well … I just… m- Let me finish this. Like, it’s not like you’re hungry. Thank you. [sigh] Alright. One very easy way to get an egg shell out of an egg, is to use an egg shell. In professional chef circles this is known as EGGCEPTION or INCEPSHELL. But a far quicker and more efficient method is to scrape the bottom of the bowl with nine forks. Easy. Keeping track of your implements while cooking is a real hassle and can add hours to making any dish. Save time and energy by using the Armpliment 5000™ The Armpliment 5000™ keeps your implements organized at all times for the rest of your life. When you fully master the Armpliment 5000™ then, and only then, are you ready for the Knife Belt 7452™ which is the easiest, most convenient, and safest way to organize your knives. Not only when cooking, but at any time of the day. Or night. You can slow down the ripening process and give your banana a longer life by wrapping the ends in plastic wrap. But what about giving your banana a better life? [narrator singing “Banana Song”]
♪ I’d like to take you outside ♪ ♪ to-day for ♪ ♪ a little whi-i-ile ♪ ♪ I hope that you decide ♪ ♪ to stay for ♪ ♪ a little whi-i-ile ♪ ♪ But if you don’t end up staying, you’re a ♪ ♪ Banana ♪ ♪ we can do so much better ♪ ♪ than we have ♪ ♪ Ever since I found ya’ ♪ ♪ left you sittin’ on the counta’ ♪ ♪ Banana ♪ ♪ we’ve taken you for granted ♪ ♪ Over sitting there ♪ ♪ and it’s like we just don’t care ♪ ♪ [whispering] Just like a salmon ♪ ♪ You suck at cooking ♪ ♪ Oh my God ♪ ♪ you suck ♪♪ [slurping noise] I don’t want to be heavy about it or anything, but I think we should just talk a little bit about boundaries. [sad whirring noise]

100 thoughts on “Kitchen Hacks – You Suck at Cooking (episode 37)

  1. i wonder if this dude sometimes lies in bed and thinks: "oh boy, today i filmed a banana in a way that made it look like i had a relationship with it while singing a song about people sucking at cooking i wrote myself. today was a good and productive day, this is what i'm going to do for the next years, this is what i'm going to remembered for, even long after i'm dead. I'm proud of what i'm doing." because i really hope so. every single time you pretend to have a relationship with a banana you make hundreds of thousands of people happy and every single of your videos is deserving of an accademy award for it's narrative and creativity.

  2. 2:34 whoa whoa slow down you haven't even taken me out to dinner yet! just sorta showed me how to make the dinner.

  3. I'm watching all YSAC videos from beginning to present. Somehow, I had missed this one. Very funny and enjoyable and gave me some good laughs. I had also missed the cauliflower thing. Great laughs. Thanks, YSAC!

  4. These hacks actually work so well, using a ready-made garlic sauce saves so much time and money. Why all the trouble of peeling and mincing that shit? Just freaking buy a jar of pre-minced garlic man.

  5. Day 7, Episode 37: this is actually my first time watching this video and I've been sleeping on this. It's funny because most of the tips in this video are actually useful [which was obviously planned]. Yea I mean I really don't know what else to say. This is another experimental video which leads me to think YSAC was just experimental at this point.

  6. Hey… So… I accidentally used 10 forks to remove the egg shells from the eggs… Even though I knew what would happen, I tried it anyways , I just don't understand why I did this. I shouldn't have done this. When I removed the egg shell, it started multiplying itself, and right now I'm running to find somewhere to hide myself in. I'm still hoping that someone sees this comment… OMG THE SHELLS ARE COMING, I GOTTA HIDEEDFAFFNANANAN NNnnnnzn..x. xxm

  7. Whoa whoa whoa, are we gonna just act like the freaking bean can strainer wasn't legit?! I suck at straining, thanks.

  8. He used the worst fucking banana to film with because he knew damn well he wasn’t gonna eat it afterward😂

  9. Ah, the Knife Belt 7452 by Lorena Bobbit.

    Fucking psychotic whore, she's not a hero for dismembering somebody. She should not be heralded as a hero. A hero would go to the police, not chop off a dick.

  10. before watching the video for the first time, i was like, this is just be him having fun, we are not gonna learn a thing, and at the end i was completly wrong

  11. 2:36 buy this tool, folks! Not only you're having a risk of cutting your dick cleaned off but you'll also have 2 knives stored wherever you go!

  12. 1. Oh hi PIMBLOCKTO!
    2. Your fly is open!!
    3. You're struggling with rhyming 'Banana' with the entire outro huh.

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