Matinum

Taking Charge of Your Health


It’s cold outside… Which makes it a good day to atone for your sins. If you’ve ever done something that warrants an apology, you might find it physically difficult to get the words to come out of your mouth. The best solution to this conundrum is to make mashed potatoes. The region of the brain that determines your feelings about mashed potatoes is the same region of the brain that determines your ability to accept an apology. Show me someone who doesn’t like mashed potatoes, and I’ll show you someone who has no ability to forgive. Start by making sure your potatoes are at room temperature Potatoes higher than room temperature
are angry potatoes, and angry potatoes only taste good to wrestlers and librarians, so tread with caution. If you don’t have a thermometer, Simply hold your potato against a piece of paper. If the paper bursts into flames, carefully select another potato. [Stomping potato on paper] Peel your potatoes, cut them into cubes, and put them into a pot to boil. Use approximately nine large potatoes, per serving. In a pinch you can also use po-tah-toes While the potatoes are boiling, determine the severity of the offense, and therefore the magnitude of the apology required. With a Category One offense; say you forgot to return a borrowed book
for three weeks, You only owe the most basic mashed potatoes possible. Put some milk in a saucepan, and add some butter. If your knife isn’t sharp enough to cut through butter, continue applying force and never give up. Heat the milk and butter together. [Pouring potatoes] When the potatoes are soft like this, add in the hot milk and butter, and mash them together. If you’re not entirely sure if the reason you haven’t returned the book is actually your fault, leave the potatoes extra lumpy. A Category Four offense;
say you showed up half an hour late when you were supposed to meet somebody, requires something a little more substantial, like garlic mashed potatoes. Make sure the potatoes are completely smooth. In addition to the milk and butter,
add in some pepper pepper pepper, salt, and a spoonful of minced garlic. In the case that someone has committed
a Category Four offense against you, add in three additional spoonfuls of garlic, and leave it on the doorstep anonymously. [Knocking] [Dramatic buildup] The word potatoes is an anagram for teapots. To create a potato teapot, cut off the bottom to create a firm base. Hollow out the potato, and carve a spout. Put in one tea bag and fill with boiling water. Pour the tea into a cup,
and enjoy the nutritious combination of tea infused with Vitamin C, B, and potato. The word apology is an anagram for gloopy, which is a word one might use
to describe mashed potatoes. Where does the symbiosis end? Nobody knows. [Dramatic sting] A Category Eight offense;
say you borrowed someone’s car and got into a fender bender, requires something much more substantial: curry mashed potatoes. Make the mashed potatoes as previously described. Stir in some yellow curry powder, then garnish with parsley. These potatoes will get you out of almost any mess, unless that mess is a category 9 offense; Say you accidentally sold your friend’s dog
without permission. At this point you’re going to have to make
a burritopology, a mashed potatoritopology, or even a mojitopology. If you need to make a mashed potatopology
to someone who is far away, Take the appropriate mashed potatoes, put them in a bag, then double-bag them
with a hand warmer between the layers. This will keep the mashed potatoes hot on their journey of redemption. Before shipping, carefully place them in a padded box,
to keep them from shattering. if you’re shipping internationally, write a description of the contents to ensure speedy delivery across the border. When making a mashed potatopology face-to-face, Invite the person over under the pretense of needing help to fix your sink, then prepare yourself for an honest and
open discussion. Person: What did you do? YSAC: Nothing.. ♪ You suck at cooking oh my God ♪ ♪ You ♪ ♪ You suck at cooking oh my God ♪ ♪ You ♪ ♪ You suck at cooking oh my God ♪ ♪ You ♪ ♪ You suck so much ♪

100 thoughts on “Mashed Potatopology – You Suck at Cooking (episode 30)

  1. let's just say that (hypothetically, of course) I committed a category 10 offense… does anyone have any advice on what type of mashed potato to make for that one

  2. autism brain tunnel visioned on the word topology and was disappointed that it was an apology with potatoes and not holely shapey potatoes

  3. What kind of mashed potatoes i should eat to get out of problem called "Throwing hamsters into a blender and mixing them with their shit"

  4. Day 5, Episode 30: yesss, a cinematic, sad music filled, and clearly satiric YSAC episode. These have got to be my favourite type of YSAC episodes. Personally, I think you should put "in a pinch, you can also use patatas". I also really enjoy the episodes where YSAC makes multiple levels of the same food like this one, the salsa episode, etc. Also I'm pretty sure that's the youtube play button box you used lmfao. Overall, one of my fav YSAC episodes.

  5. Every time I opened this video, really loud Italian opera began to play and I thought it was normal the first few times.

  6. 1:21 NO!!!! An unreturned book is an offense of the HIGHEST ORDER!!!!

    Reminds me…someone owes me a book. And mashed potatoes.

  7. What if you forgot your best friend's bass in a bar downtown and didn't get it back? Almost happened to me, but that would require some major potato skills.

  8. Unfortunately, I broke my mom's rice cooker. But she has already forgiven me, so I think I only need to make a category four. What are your thoughts? Should I do eight?

  9. So I was making a piece of toast and i was too lazy to pull out the toaster or soften the butter, so as I was putting chunks of cold butter on my floppy bread that stupid song was playing in my head “you suck at cooking”

  10. Category 12 here

    HELP.

    Also, you missed Lazyboy mash

    wash potatoes, quarter them (dont peel)
    Boil them, Add milk/butter to taste.

    Put in a blender until its the texture you like.

    Your welcome

  11. How to basic: insane but still sane enough to live and survive
    You suck at cooking: insane but still sane enough to have normal life

  12. Imagine the the shipping company scanning that box and being like.. "Hmm we should check just invade someone thought they were being slick… Wait..is that..is that fucking mashed potatoes?"

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