Taking Charge of Your Health

I’m a bit of a perfectionist. Now, how many times
have you heard that one? Over drinks, maybe, with friends,
or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving. It’s everyone’s favorite flaw, it’s that now quite common response to the difficult, final question
at job interviews: “My biggest weakness? That’s my perfectionism.” You see, for something
that supposedly holds us back, it’s quite remarkable how many of us
are quite happy to hold our hands up and say we’re perfectionists. But there’s an interesting
and serious point because our begrudging admiration
for perfection is so pervasive that we never really stop to question
that concept in its own terms. What does it say about us and our society that there is a kind
of celebration in perfection? We tend to hold perfectionism up
as an insignia of worth. The emblem of the successful. Yet, in my time studying perfectionism, I’ve seen limited evidence
that perfectionists are more successful. Quite the contrary — they feel discontented and dissatisfied amid a lingering sense
that they’re never quite perfect enough. We know from clinician case reports that perfectionism conceals
a host of psychological difficulties, including things like depression,
anxiety, anorexia, bulimia and even suicide ideation. And what’s more worrying
is that over the last 25 years, we have seen perfectionism rise
at an alarming rate. And at the same time, we have seen more mental illness
among young people than ever before. Rates of suicide in the US alone increased by 25 percent
across the last two decades. And we’re beginning to see similar trends
emerge across Canada, and in my home country,
the United Kingdom. Now, our research is suggesting that perfectionism is rising
as society is changing. And a changed society reflects
a changed sense of personal identity and, with it, differences in the way
in which young people interact with each other and the world around them. And there are some unique characteristics
about our preeminent, market-based society that include things
like unrestricted choice and personal freedom, and these are characteristics
that we feel are contributing to almost epidemic levels of this problem. So let me give you an example. Young people today are more preoccupied
with the attainment of the perfect life and lifestyle. In terms of their image,
status and wealth. Data from Pew show that young people born in the US in the late 1980s are 20 percent more likely
to report being materially rich as among their most important life goals, relative to their parents
and their grandparents. Young people also borrow more heavily
than did older generations, and they spend a much greater proportion
of their income on image goods and status possessions. These possessions,
their lives and their lifestyles are now displayed in vivid detail
on the ubiquitous social media platforms of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat. In this new visual culture, the appearance of perfection
is far more important than the reality. If one side of the modern landscape that we have so lavishly
furnished for young people is this idea that there’s
a perfectible life and that there’s a perfectible lifestyle, then the other is surely work. Nothing is out of reach
for those who want it badly enough. Or so we’re told. This is the idea at the heart
of the American dream. Opportunity, meritocracy,
the self-made person, hard work. The notion that hard work always pays off. And above all, the idea
that we’re captains of our own destiny. These ideas, they connect
our wealth, our status and our image with our innate,
personal value. But it is, of course, complete fiction. Because even if there were
equality of opportunity, the idea that we are captains
of our own destiny disguises a much darker
reality for young people that they are subject to an almost
ongoing economic tribunal. Metrics, rankings, lead tables have emerged as the yardsticks
for which merit can be quantified and used to sort young people
into schools, classes and colleges. Education is the first arena where measurement
is so publicly played out and where metrics are being used as a tool to improve standards
and performance. And it starts young. Young people in America’s
big city high schools take some 112 mandatory standardized tests between prekindergarten
and the end of 12th grade. No wonder young people report
a strong need to strive, perform and achieve
at the center of modern life. They’ve been conditioned
to define themselves in the strict and narrow terms
of grades, percentiles and lead tables. This is a society that preys
on their insecurities. Insecurities about
how they are performing and how they are appearing
to other people. This is a society that amplifies
their imperfections. Every flaw, every unforeseen setback increases a need to perform
more perfectly next time, or else, bluntly, you’re a failure. That feeling of being flawed and deficient
is especially pervasive — just talk to young people. “How should I look, how should I behave?” “I should look like that model, I should have as many followers
as that Instagram influencer, I must do better in school.” In my role as mentor to many young people, I see these lived effects
of perfectionism firsthand. And one student sticks out
in my mind very vividly. John, not his real name, was ambitious, hardworking and diligent and on the surface,
he was exceptionally high-achieving, often getting first-class
grades for his work. Yet, no matter how well John achieved, he always seemed to recast
his successes as abject failures, and in meetings with me, he would talk openly about
how he’d let himself and others down. John’s justification was quite simple: How could he be a success when he was trying so much harder
than other people just to attain the same outcomes? See, John’s perfectionism,
his unrelenting work ethic, was only serving to expose
what he saw as his inner weakness to himself and to others. Cases like John’s speak
to the harmfulness of perfectionism as a way of being in the world. Contrary to popular belief, perfectionism is never about
perfecting things or perfecting tasks. It’s not about striving for excellence. John’s case highlights this vividly. At its root, perfectionism
is about perfecting the self. Or, more precisely,
perfecting an imperfect self. And you can think about it
like a mountain of achievement that perfectionism leads us
to imagine ourselves scaling. And we think to ourselves,
“Once I’ve reached that summit, then people will see I’m not flawed,
and I’ll be worth something.” But what perfectionism doesn’t tell us is that soon after reaching that summit, we will be called down again to the fresh
lowlands of insecurity and shame, just to try and scale that peak again. This is the cycle of self-defeat. In the pursuit of unattainable perfection,
a perfectionist just cannot step off. And it’s why it’s so difficult to treat. Now, we’ve known for decades and decades that perfectionism contributes
to a host of psychological problems, but there was never
a good way to measure it. That was until the late 1980s when two Canadians,
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett, came along and developed
a self-report measure of perfectionism. So that’s right, folks,
you can measure this, and it essentially captures
three core elements of perfectionism. The first is self-oriented perfectionism, the irrational desire to be perfect: “I strive to be as perfect as I can be.” The second is socially
prescribed perfectionism, the sense that the social environment
is excessively demanding: “I feel that others
are too demanding of me.” And the third is
other-oriented perfectionism, the imposition of unrealistic
standards on other people: “If I ask somebody to do something,
I expect it to be done perfectly.” Now, research shows that all
three elements of perfectionism associate with compromised mental health, including things
like heightened depression, heightened anxiety and suicide ideation. But, by far, the most problematic
element of perfectionism is socially prescribed perfectionism. That sense that everyone
expects me to be perfect. This element of perfectionism has a large correlation
with serious mental illness. And with today’s emphasis on perfection
at the forefront of my mind, I was curious to see whether these
elements of perfectionism were changing. To date, research in this area
is focused on immediate family relations, but we wanted to look at it
at a broader level. So we took all of the data
that had ever been collected in the 27 years since Paul and Gordon
developed that perfectionism measure, and we isolated the data
in college students. This turned out to be
more than 40,000 young people from American, Canadian
and British colleges, and with so much data available,
we looked to see if there was a trend. And in all, it took us
more than three years to collate all of this information,
crunch the numbers, and write our report. But it was worth it because our analysis
uncovered something alarming. All three elements of perfectionism
have increased over time. But socially prescribed perfectionism
saw the largest increase, and by far. In 1989, just nine percent of young people
report clinically relevant levels of socially prescribed perfectionism. Those are levels that we might
typically see in clinical populations. By 2017, that figure
had doubled to 18 percent. And by 2050, projections
based on the models that we tested indicate that almost one
in three young people will report clinically relevant levels
of socially prescribed perfectionism. Remember, this is the element
of perfectionism that has the largest correlation
with serious mental illness, and that’s for good reason. Socially prescribed perfectionists
feel a unrelenting need to meet the expectations of other people. And even if they do meet
yesterday’s expectation of perfection, they then raise the bar on themselves
to an even higher degree because these folks believe
that the better they do, the better that they’re expected to do. This breeds a profound sense
of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness. But is there hope? Of course there’s hope. Perfectionists can and should
hold on to certain things — they are typically bright, ambitious,
conscientious and hardworking. And yes, treatment is complex. But a little bit of self-compassion, going easy on ourselves
when things don’t go well, can turn those qualities
into greater personal peace and success. And then there’s what
we can do as caregivers. Perfectionism develops
in our formative years, and so young people are more vulnerable. Parents can help their children by supporting them unconditionally
when they’ve tried but failed. And Mom and Dad can resist
their understandable urge in today’s highly competitive society
to helicopter-parent, as a lot of anxiety is communicated when parents take on their kids’
successes and failures as their own. But ultimately, our research
raises important questions about how we are structuring society and whether our society’s heavy emphasis
on competition, evaluation and testing is benefiting young people. It’s become commonplace
for public figures to say that young people just need
a little bit more resilience in the face of these new
and unprecedented pressures. But I believe that is us
washing our hands of the core issue because we have a shared responsibility to create a society and a culture
in which young people need less perfection in the first place. Let’s not kid ourselves. Creating that kind of world
is an enormous challenge, and for a generation of young people that live their lives
in the 24/7 spotlight of metrics, lead tables and social media, perfectionism is inevitable, so long as they lack any purpose in life greater than how they are appearing or how they are performing
to other people. What can they do about it? Every time they are knocked down
from that mountaintop, they see no other option
but to try scaling that peak again. The ancient Greeks knew that this endless struggle
up and down the same mountain is not the road to happiness. Their image of hell
was a man called Sisyphus, doomed for eternity to keep rolling
the same boulder up a hill, only to see it roll back down
and have to start again. So long as we teach young people that there is nothing more real
or meaningful in their lives than this hopeless quest for perfection, then we are going to condemn
future generations to that same futility and despair. And so we’re left with a question. When are we going to appreciate that there is something
fundamentally inhuman about limitless perfection? No one is flawless. If we want to help our young people
escape the trap of perfectionism, then we will teach them
that in a chaotic world, life will often defeat us, but that’s OK. Failure is not weakness. If we want to help our young people
outgrow this self-defeating snare of impossible perfection, then we will raise them in a society
that has outgrown that very same delusion. But most of all, if we want our young people
to enjoy mental, emotional and psychological health, then we will invite them
to celebrate the joys and the beauties of imperfection as a normal and natural part
of everyday living and loving. Thank you very much. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse | Thomas Curran

  1. The agenda here is SCHOOL TESTING = BAD . . . . the evidence being to draw a link between increasing school tests in the last thirty years with increasing levels of mental illness caused by anxiety. Thats conflating and politicising separate issues. Fear of failure may be caused by unrealistic expectations, however, it seems just as likely that early testing should adapt a young persons ambitions into some reconciliation with reality. Agreed that social media is partly to blame, but why conflate school testing alongside ? Does the speaker recommend every young person should leave school with identical qualifications so they can all feel good ? He may as well just say so, as it's certainly implicit in his speech and there's no way I'm misunderstanding or misrepresenting his ideas in that. Surely early testing would prevent a 14 year old from tackling an unduly difficult choice of GCSE selections ? Thats better than failing spectacularly at age 16. Young people now face a much more difficult economic situation, yet the blame for their stress is laid at the doorstep of school testing. It all reeks of social engineering dressed up as concern for the welfare of young people.

  2. His point about my generation spending more maybe relevant. But on the other hand, we are most likely borrowing more as a reflection of the house prices and income level.

  3. I might be the first person to disagree with this talk. I watch TED talks on a regular basis but I think this topic is poorly structured and not supported by absolute facts. The most successful people in the world has gone thru a process cold perfection. As the saying goes Practice makes Perfect. How can you not aim for a perfect score on your tests????? It is just simply teaching people to be lazy and lose their ambition. In order for you to achieve your goals, you have to perfect your craft. I understand there are pressures from the environment but this is part of the process. Instead of telling yourself that you can't achieve perfection. I think it is better to talk about the society instead like why people lose the courage to dream is because there are other people who are rough and discourage them. In order to achieve goal, we should encourage one another. I think that will be more inspirational. For me, this talk is just like to babysit those people who don't want to fight their battles and just lose hope and not aim for excellence. This is just my opinion. I could be wrong but there are probably more talks better than this.

  4. this man is so right yet he won't be heard as its not the people that lead but big companies world leaders and they all share this sickness ! now let's talk on how to fix that !

  5. Ironic that he mentions the myth of Sisyphus as a metaphor for meaningless striving for perfection, since Camus likened the myth to life no matter the meaning one has chosen for one's life. One must imagine Sisyphus happy, he said. Great talk nonetheless, and I'm happy to see scientists starting to quantify the social damage that the era of social media has wrought on human-to-human interaction.

  6. it’s called liberal and democrat ideology and political correctness gone crazy,they want a perfect society that will never exist.

  7. Perfection isn't a mountain; it's an infinitely high wall. You climb until you fall off, even though you know you can never reach the top. Because the alternate is accepting that it's okay to just hang on.

  8. Love the idea of always leaving an intentional defect in a Persian carpet, perfection being for God alone. We can now assemble perfect physical objects a few atoms in size. Nothing of any size can be considered so. So how about striving to find better ways to live inside your own skin?

  9. "…raise them in a society that has outgrown that very same delusion."
    Okay, sure. Now explain how that's going to happen in an increasingly automated world using A.I.

  10. Nothing inherently wrong with perfectionism, it’s just that most people have it backwards. We should seek perfection in the moment, but learn to appreciate the imperfections of the end results.

    It’s like the aesthetic principles of Wabi-Sabi: all things are by nature imperfect, impermenant, and incomplete. But by understanding, accepting, and embracing this nature, we are able to appreciate the perfect imperfectness in all things.

  11. its a metaphorical mish-mash and he doesn't clarify the data or methods. He begins by asserting that perfectionism is held up as an emblem for success but that is just fiction. ok? data? proof? methods? or did he just read this from one of a hundred bloggers who feel this way? But instead of giving deeper insight into the scientific area, he says the exact same thing that a 14 year old with feelings and a blog can say.

    "People believe that the better they do, the better they're expected to do"… Uh, yes? That is life. Children are expected to grow up, newly hired people are expected to gain experience and so on. In fact, I think all people are expected to be better over time, averaged over many dimensions no matter if you get better or not.

  12. Ok I got the message that perfectionism is bad so :

    From now on I will strive to perfect imperfectionism .

    I will excel to be a perfect imperfectionist.

    Will start studying imperfectionism, I will start applying tactics to it, I will build charts around it , I will achieve imperfectionism to the detail. I will be the most perfect imperfectionist.

  13. "You don’t have to prove that you are good enough to be loved."
    — Dorothy Rowe, Beyond Fear

    Dorothy Rowe is the best psychologist you can learn from if you are interested in depression. She is telling us that the obsession with perfection (to be good enough) is toxic.

    Only love can save us from ourselves and from the obsession with perfection.

  14. I always said to my friends there's no such thing as perfect this nice this thing as normal it's all this has been made up as the giant lie you can't be perfect and everything that you do you gotta have Flaws that's how the world works so this guy here I totally agree with ham

  15. Thank You, Thomas Curran for an exceptional and very needed look at perfection. You are so right … we are not nor can we ever be "perfect" … we come with flaws and we will forever have some sort of flaw … regardless … and yet … if we focus in to tightly and forget, the beauty, in our lack of perfection and strive toward the unattainable we are bound to fail. Love & Peace to All

  16. "Perfection is the Enemy of Progress" – Winston Churchill

    "Perfection is boring. Getting better is where all the fun is" – Dragos Roua

    Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

    A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect.

  17. This premise becomes irrelevant when you leave rich countries and begin to look at young people in the huge urban centers of the developing world, struggling to compete for limited jobs and resources, under conditions that obliterate personal dignity, where failure has implications beyond mental health or lack of personal achievement. Failure to beat the competition could mean homelessness, not being able to afford a family, being stuck for decades with the same service industry job where they're treated badly. In many Asian cultures, failure to get good exam scores could mean never having access to a university good enough to gain entry into a career where they could support their parents, thus bringing shame on their families. The pressure to perform and achieve is only going to increase in a tight world economy…

  18. Did anyone else just find out that when you right click in the video there is a "stats for nerds" option?

  19. i appreciate my physically abusive perfectionist teacher parents for obsessing over my grades. They gave me the gift of apathy. Most kids seemed proud when they got a 100% on a test. i felt shame, humiliation, injustice, oppression, self-disgust. One of the happiest days of my youth was when i dropped out of college and told off my parents that college is a debt-mill, not a school. Now the student debt crisis is crushing our young adults and i shake my head at all the "smart" college graduates (Didn't they read the loan terms? Don't they know how cumulatively compounding interest works? Didn't they see how worthless a 65th edition calculus textbook that was first printed in 1984 was? Calculus hasn't changed 65 times since 1984, but the textbook answer keys have utter garbage stuffed in to them. Pre-engineered flaws so the students complain to teachers and the teachers order new books. The new text books will also have utter garbage in the answer key. It's all about money money money, not about education, learning or satisfying curiosities. ) i joined the military to satiate my curiosity because school wasn't doing it. i learned about violence on many scales: individual, team, nation. i learned about electricity, a curiosity i've had since i was about 7 but went utterly unsatiated until i commited my life to national violence. Now i know a thing or two about electricity and nuclear reactors but i don't put my skills to use because i can just threaten money out of my parents. You might be angered reading this saying how i should be grateful that my parents housed, clothed, fed me. i too, could have provided that if my abuser would just end my life and go to prison. They house, clothe and feed you there. Gratefulness takes a back seat when a 7 year old holds his ground and accepts his fate and prepares to die against two giants double his size, his provider and "caretakers," abusive oppressors in the home. No child deserves that over school grades. You might be angered of my lack of conscientiousness but a decade of violent abuse to force me to comply, awful wages ($2.13/hr) and awful hours (120hr/week peak, 100hr/week average) makes me value my personal time more than money, status or family (i will not have children. my parents gave me SO many reasons not to.) It wasn't okay for a 40 year old man to bully a 7 year-old to get the grades the 40 year old wanted. Could you imagine if the 7 year old was earning a wage and his GUARDIAN was taking it away with violence? That would be awful, but it's even worse over school grades("grades" are just the opinions of the teacher, especially in 2nd grade. My parents were both teachers, they should have known this. Did they tell their customers to beat their children on the report cards?) Now i'm the 40 year old and my abuser is 70. i don't threaten grades out of my abuser, but i'll take his money (we're settling out of court, to put it mildly.) The flow of time turns tables harshly, curses come home to roost. You can point at me and say what a garbage human i am, but i'll just shrug and say, "garbage in, garbage out." At least the time i have left in this world will be mine and i can be done losing sleep over someone else's insecurities. Don't antagonize your children over your perfectionism unless you want to bestow upon them: the gift of apathy.

  20. I actually wrote out about three paragraphs responding to this, and then deleted it all because I didn't think it was perfect enough (the irony is not lost on me). I think a big point that you miss is that, the problem isn't so much that people are obsessed with perfection, the problem is that as a society, we have convinced ourselves that we are 100% in control of the outcomes of our lives, or that if we aren't, we should be. The problem isn't that we strive for perfection, that is a healthy attitude to have, the problem is that we actually believe that we can control if we get it. We will never be able to control every variable in our lives, so we will never be able to control our outcomes the way we have programmed ourselves to believe that we can. The problem isn't our need for perfection, it is our need for control.

  21. 6:31 Next time… instead of searching for perfection just be relaxed… if needed, they say drinking little wine before big occasions (job interviews etc) it helps

  22. I really love how he sounds very sincere and humble, yet highlights the things we have to perceive differently.

  23. Great talk. My friends suffer greatly from the social media perfectionism scam. It make me sad how depressed it makes them.

  24. I resonate with this so well, I only recently started acknowledging how perfectionism had taken over my life and made me miserable. I've started letting go and refraining from always always thinking I should be or do better. I feel so much more fulfilled and happy with myself now.

  25. I don't get why he decries freedom, choice and the American Dream, meritocracy, self-made-person, hard work, the captain of our destiny… around 4:10? I mean, I understand why perfectionism is harmful, but how is it linked to freedom, choice and the American Dream? Makes no sense. You can have all these things and still avoid the pitfall of perfectionism. Is this some kind of anti-individualistic or anti-free market bias?

  26. I didn’t catch much of what you were saying…I was too busy obsessing over your PERFECT hair, teeth and physique. Kidding. Your message is timely, and I will pass this video along to my son.

  27. I wonder if risk aversion factors into this. So many important discoveries have been derived from those who risked failure again and again and again, and didn't care if others thought they were crazy.

  28. I have OCD and my need for things to be perfect all the time is exhausting for me..i have to tell myself daily that perfection is not necessary. ❤

  29. Howdy TED. Since you disabled comments and likes/dizziness dislikes on Brittany Cooper's TED talk on white people owning time, I'll leave this comment here. I'm unsubscribing because you have a racist conduct a talk, then don't even allow comments on the video. Shameful. If time had a race, it would be white? Absolutely shameful and racist.

    Nothing against the speaker of this talk, but it's pretty bad of the TED organization to do this.

  30. Damn! I wanted to write the most profound comment but I just kept deleting it as it didn’t make me stand out😕 or look extremely intelligent. Did anybody else have this happen?

  31. What we need to recognize is that this is not a young people issue. The greater culture of humanity have been shifting towards perfectionism. Think of the ways we judge our politicians and celebrities. If they said one thing wrong, doesn’t matter whether it was yesterday or 50 years old, their successes are instantly dismissed. Think of the ways we judge corporate executives, athletes, MDs, news anchors, or anyone in any professions. One thing wrong, instant termination, lawsuits, revocation of licenses, medals and awards and they’ll never work again. Same thing in the worker space. Middle management, supervisors, foremen, even individual workers. There is no room for error.

    In this culture, why would we expect our children to experience differently? If we are not championing tolerance and forgiveness, to others and to ourselves, we are teaching our children the same.

  32. Am I the only one who was looking for at least some practical tips on how to escape a perfectionist mindset?
    I mean, yeah, perfectionism isn't really healthy, but knowing it doesn't really change the situation.

  33. is this thomas curran who wrote lots of paper about perfectionism? it actually helped me as a perfectionist & helped me through my undergraduate thesis (it's one of my variable so i hope it helps lots of more people).

    this guy is a truly amazing!

  34. Comment section LOADED with people lacking in the integrity to strive. Excuses abound for why they've embraced mediocrity.

  35. Uh, this is a little disconcerting. I’m still trying to find a contractor/carpenter who can mount a bathroom towel bar perfectly level. They all ‘eyeball’ level and are always off— noticeably. A little perfectionism goes a long way.

  36. tl;dw clinically relevant perfectionism associated with mental disorder rose from 9% to 18% in 27 years and we don't know how to treat it.

  37. With all the research, data gathering and analysis, why do we continue to ignore the "elephant" in the room? These results are newly manifesting themselves as we continue to push God the Creator of imperfect people out of our lives, education and understanding. We're flawed because we chose to bypass our Maker with arrogance and rebellion. I'm not talking about religion, i'm talking about an understanding that can come from one and only…… The Creator of us! All perfection lies in the Creator, because the creation looks flawed, doesn't mean the Creator is flawed. We've thrown the baby out with the bath water. Things haven't gotten better because we've subtracted God the Creator from our education, culture, and understanding. As the speaker stated, their discovery during data gathering and analysis founded an increase of this mental state among young people, but when asked why, Or what has changed….. the idea that pushing God out of our understanding seldom comes up in real, intellectual dialogue. And most people won't like this, and will probably get angry and respond very negatively. But as a fellow imperfect human being, I can honestly say that I no longer have anxiety, depression and feelings of failure and suicide, due to coming to an understanding that perfection doesn't begin or end with me, but with God the Creator. As I move closer to God thru Jesus, I've accepted that all perfection is in HIM, not me. And where it's challenging, I trust God to help me, and do the supernatural things to my mind that no human, or drug can do. The brain is physical, but the mind, the thoughts, morality….. that can't be located by a psychologist, therefore it's "SUPER" natural. That's something that we have to deal with more honestly, more intellectually, instead of dismissing it.
    This was a good beginning to the conversation, but we need to go deeper than what we can see, and touch. Much love, much respect.

  38. It's about my country , Japan XD
    Japanese keeps working very long for promotion , fee , reputation , responsebility , pressure etc.
    It seems to be that they live for work.
    Hard work results tiredness.
    Atmosphere in company is awful.
    If someone go home in time ,
    coworkers complain about it.
    They monitor each other.
    I hope that society changes to accept various values.

  39. The obesity epidemic didn't exist 25 years ago. If anything we have allowed ourselves to fail far more than we used too. How can there be more perfectionism when the majority is vastly less perfect than before?

  40. Demanding perfection of others is also what makes us give up on people in government who are overall doing a good job, and we end up voting for people like Doug Ford who are dismantling everything good about Ontario.

  41. There’s only one man who walked this earth perfectly, Jesus! No matter how hard we try we will NEVER be perfect in this life, but we can be covered by the one who is! Our sins forgiven and forgotten when clothed in the blood of the Lamb! Jesus walked this earth as a man, tempted on all levels by the devil himself and Jesus never once sinned! Then being perfect, chose to die for our evil and took our place! The righteous dying for the unrighteous! He bore and drank the whole cup filled to the brim of Gods wrath that’s was meant for you and me! And as importantly raised himself from the dead to forever intercede for us. He is our mediator! Every time a child of God sins, Jesus is right there to say, “father forgive them, my blood covers their sin!” Now repent of your sins and throw yourself before the mercy of Christ! Believe upon Him and as He gives you life, therefore live for Him!

  42. A lot of the people who preach the perfection are not perfectionists and are hacks and then become liars and cheats about simply creating the illusion of perfection because if its believed even though its not true then thats all that matters. People are absolutely insane with this stuff. Many of them are breaking laws and need to be locked up with their schemes they try to pull against people against society.

  43. He sure fell short of perfection on the size of his clothes. Good grief dude, we don't need to see your birthmark through your pants.

  44. An archer cannot hit the bullseye without taking good aim
    Good aim is one of the meanings of the word Torah so theirs something to pondering what perfection should have been but isn’t
    And if you enjoy anything that a man machined you benefited from a perfectionist

  45. "In my time studying perfectionism." Lol, he's a perfectionologist. This was hard to listen to, because like all Ted talks, it's devoid of any foundational basis in what we've known for thousands of years: Our relationship with our Creator is the one and only commonality of enduring joy and avoidance of succumbing to the senseless obsession of possession. The end. But that's not as sexy as a protracted cliche ridden pump up speech to assuage our own realization that our worldview is tethered to our God view.

  46. That is why the Japanese have the highest suicide rate in the world. Social perfectionism. Look for the numbers to rise especially in China, now that your credit is rated on how you act. No matter what we do, there is no such thing as being perfect, until we meet our eternal Christ in heaven. Then only then we will be perfect.

  47. In eating disorders there is "The number doesn't define you." But it seems to, doesn't it? The grades, the weight, statistics. Why would we let some way of determining things define us? We are living beings. We need to be ourselves instead of letting the numbers define us. As i say "Practice makes better" (based of practice makes perfect). Perfect is unattainable goal, perfect is not possible. Because it is relative to each person. you may be perfect or good to one person, but not to everyone. Instead of getting depressed by this stuff I recommend admitting how unreasonable it is and trying to be our own best critics because we will be with us all our lives and we can't change that so why hurt ourselves? Why and try please others over being sane. Though it is good to help others. Just take care of yourself too. You aren't perfect, But you are good enough if you try.
    I recommend using GRIT for help doing that, It inspired me to stop trying to die for a bit. So let it help you not get to that point (or stop being at that point).
    celebrate your imperfections because they are part of you, don't let them take over, same with the numbers and statistics.

  48. Humans naturally have inner sense of perfection, the problem is we are finding perfection on wrong things, we are thinking material success can satisfy our inner sense of perfection.
    But our thirsty of perfection can be fullfied by Love, self control, in short God.

  49. What a nice and kind gentleman talking about perfectionism! I lived most of my life unaware of my perfectionism until I started delving into psychology a few years ago. Perfectionism is a trap but we can keep it at bay if we always mindful. From my own experience I can say that untreated perfectionism only gets worse. A trick I use to escape the trap of perfectionism is when I work, I try to think of what my work will bring to others and take the focus off of myself and my own image and status… I hope this helps someone 😉

  50. If we choose perfection, our life could really become a nightmare, we are our best enemy or best friend in our behaviour if we accept that we are human with strengths but also weaknesses, we could accept that we have limit especially for our own health, if we are too demanding toward ourselves, think about the way you take care of your best friend and be your best friend, because you only have one life to live…(sorry if there are mistakes I am French, English fluent but not bilingual 😉)

  51. I agree 100% college has me constantly wondering why I put a lot more study time in something than other people- only to achieve the same grade😅

  52. Perfectionism is trying our best to achieve the best result. This guy is not talking about perfectionism at all. He doesn't know the meaning well enough.

  53. This TED Talk is very important for young people to see. The speaker is on point about unattainable expectations and image. Personally, I'm not a fan of social media platforms as I believe they lead to unhealthy notions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *