Taking Charge of Your Health

welcome to intrinsicmotivation from ahomies perspective podcast where we meetexpertsfrom all walks of lifeto learntheir intrinsicmotivations so that theycan shareit withthe worldwhat do wehaveinstore today stay tuned to findout more good morning good evening goodafternoon everybody out there andpodcastLandis is intrinsic motivationfrom ahomies perspectiveI amhonza andI amDavid and I’m really interested inour podcasttodaywe’re speaking withRobertPark he has a newbook of babyand child massageand I’m reallyinterested inlearning moreaboutdealingwithchildren or at a youngagegivingthem massage as an aside mypersonal experience being born inNewJersey growing I meanbeing born inPhiladelphia growing up in NewJerseywhen I movedto Florida it seemed likewith the Latin communitythey were moretouchy-feelythey had a closer personalspacethan he didn’t knowit’sEast andI’m wonderingif Robert can kindofpointed in the rightdirection I’m surehe will but I’m thinkingthat they hadmore human contactor the culturewasjustdifferent so without further adoI’d like towelcome Robert comport tothe podcast welcometothe podcastRobert well thank you andwe canI saidwhat can I say about the so touchy-feelything you know we’re not we’renot we’rein a pretty precarious position in ourculture at the moment with allof theallegationsof sexual abuse and stufflike thatand so people are going tobecomehyper sensitive tothe ideaoftouch and appropriate touchaninappropriate touch so my bookhands onparentinga practicalguide to massagefor happier healthier smarter kidsIthink that the point of it is is that very fewparents that I’ve metand I’vemet many parentsactually use touchas one of themost ago is one of thesignificant methods ofraising theirbabiesor children and there’s such avast lack of knowledge about the absence of it and that’s primarilybecause somany people in charge have never had amassage I am profoundly shocked at howmanypeople I’ve met have never had amassageso the hopefully this book willhelp turn the tideabsolutely and I willbuild publicly on recordand saythat Ialmost proposeda couple of timessoIknowthat there’s a hugegap inmy lifewhen I do notget them applies and Iknow it’s timeto do so but since you’redealing with so many parentslet me askyou from a from a child perspectivewhatyou’ve seenthere has been somepreliminary research I’m sure you candive deeper intothis that whenthatchild starts born that those minutesareso critical that they have to fillthatmother istouched and if they don’tthey’re already fedoff on a on a wrongtangent with whatsort of take onthatwhen I takeis the problem with what youjustsaid andyou said a mother’s touchand veryseldom do we ever talk aboutafather’s father’s touch so when mysonwasborn Iam actually a advancedcertifiedRoth practitionerIstudydirectlywith dr. Rolfthe last fouryears of her life andI pioneeredRolfing babies and children and in thebackof my mind was alwaysI brought thenumber of babieslike five weeks old sixweeks oldbut never a newbornandit wasalwaysinthe back of my mindthat thebest time would tip would be to begin atthebeginningand the first half an hourthat my son was bornwhile they werestitching up his mother I got to touchmy baby I got to hold him and and I gavehimhisfirst walking session and I havebeen a hands-on father for along timeactuallymy original book I wantedtocallitmassage her babies and childrenfor fathers becausefathers oftentimes don’t havethe emotional wherewithalthey are outworkinghard construction workerswhatever and people usingtheir brainbutthey don’t come and back home andconnect withtheir feelings and theyaren’tin touch with their children’sfeelingsor theirown feelingsso Ithinkit’s just equally as important fora father’s touchas it is for other suchandI think it’s criticalin thatfirstfew momentsas that baby’s been in thewomb for a few monthseverythingwas alltakencare of we think we come outofthe womb when we saywallah I’m free butwe don’t we say oh my god I got tosurvive and and there’s nomore safetynetand the best safety netfor anewbornbaby is either a mother’s touchor father’s touch thankyou now since itiswe talk a little bit offline aboutyou know little jabs since you do livein Philadelphia go Eaglesand you knowhopefully they will pull it out for therest ofthe yearbut I bring that upbecause when you think of sports oryouthink of someone winning some type ofaccoladeschampionships the first thingthey say isthanks mom or hi mom loveyou momand you know the father’s adistant secondif you hear about them atalland could you make the connectionthatbecause they weren’t getting thatemotionalconnection with their fathervia touch at the beginning that it kindof exacerbates thesituationa lot ofprofessional athleteswell that’s onethat’s that’s for sure and it goes backtoanother thing before isis itwe don’tactually train fathers to befathersnow my son’s motherunfortunately died when hewas10 and Istartedtaking him to schooleverymorningand in elementary school andafter a few days Inoticed that when thewomencame outthey started talking toeach otherthey did not talk to me and Isaidoh mygod there’s a woman’scluband kind of like got profoundlyyou knowI got profoundlyrelated to the factthat there’s awomanwhen womenget together what theytalkabout is yourchildren andtheir cookingandtheir you know what they’re doingand how they’renurturing their childrenand whatfathers get together to talkabout work or talkabout sportsorsomethinglike thatso we need to have awhole change in the culturebetweenmothersand fathers and mothers have tounderstandthatfathers are critical andcritically importantI deal with a lotofI run anonprofitprogram where wedistribute computers topeoplethecountyported by new ones about 15,000of them so farand 85% ofthosecomputers went to women raisingchildrenalone withouttheinput of theirfathersso I don’t know I’m goingtodoeverythingI can to empower fathers toread this bookand toget in touch withthemselves and get in touchwiththeirchildren and then have aconversationwith theirwives and their childrenabout the importance of touch safe touchand then you know oneof the better oneof the best things about the wholethingis if you do this with yourchildrenearly they’ll grow upgiving youmassages well I mean this is intrinsic motivationfrom ahomeys perspective sothere’s three guys on here talkingaboutmassagebeforeyou gointo the benefitsof talking about giving yourchildren orbabies a massagewhat are someof thestigmas thatwe have men faceas far aslike you first started outtouchy-feelyso you know what are the preconceivednotions of even venturing into thistopic of conversation well I’m also amemberof a minority journalists groupofjournalists andwhat I knows about inminority communitiesespeciallylow-incomealready minority communitiesand there’s amendès amount of incesthappening on theplanetthatdoes notget reported that does not get dealt withI have agood friendwho I met recently and he’sa father and he was incarcerated foranumberof yearsgot out and it turnedhis life aroundand while he wasincarceratedhis daughter was livingwith hiswife and her boyfriend and herboyfriend abused his daughter and now she’s suffering fromsevere mentalissuesso there’s a lot ofthings thathappen topeople that stay hidden I haveIhave if you read the book I I talkedaboutsomeof those things for myself mymother was not giving memassages toraise me she was giving me not spankings but little literal beatingsand so whenyou bringuptheidea of touch in aworld in which touch is absent the first thing peopledo is look at you likeyou’re weirdlike you’re you’re fromMarsandespecially it’s not everydaythat a70 year old white Vietnam veteranwrites a bookabout massage and earlychildhood development but I happened Iwas waitingfor somebody elseto do itbut they didn’t so I gethappy2-1 andyeah so now I’m goingtousemy mysenseof humor to promote theidea andhopefully because I amsomebody who’sprofoundly relatedto that ideaandIhaveanincredible experienceandbackground and foundationto supportwhat I’m talking aboutpeople willlistenand they are starting to we liketo talk about perception a lot on thepodcast and you know everyone has theirown perceptionand of everythingand Iwantedtoget yourtake like you saidfor this subjectmatterif we just readhands-onparenting a practical guide tomassage for happy or healthyhealthiersmarter kidsand there’s abeautifulbaby on the cover bythe way that’sgreat but we would I guess the generalperceptionwould be that a woman wouldbe the author of that with what type of feedbackor thought processwere you thinking about when you wrotethe bookafter doingit on yourownversus partnering with afemalecounterpartunfortunately I’m not thatsmart I wrote the book notbecause I’m ayouknow greatauthor because they cameup withthe ideathat I was start aproject of one ofthe worst drugneighborhoods of theworldwhere I tookmy roughing table and my massage tableout to aneighborhood where there weremore drug dealersanddrug addictswalking around the streetsinPhiladelphia then there werepeople thatwere living there and if you’refulfilled up here youmight know whatI’m talking about by North Philadelphiaand I set upmy table and I said hey whowants aroughing session who wants amassageI had alittle signthat apostureand one kid got up on the tableand she worked on it for abouthalf anhour withher clothes on nice and safeher father was there and she got uphowdo you feel and she felt goodand thenextkid got up and we kept doing thatforawhile and a friend of mine owned abook publishing companyRunning Pressand he cameto me one day and said canyou writeyou know what do you thinkabout writinga book on massage forbabies and children I said soundslike agood ideato mehe came back a coupleweeks later says well canyou write itand not knowingthat I couldn’t I said Icould so they actuallypaid me to writethat book andit was calledthenew bookof baby and child massage the reason I wrote thisbook isbecause thatbookdidn’t have a lot ofthe things thatIwanted init and references dropping anddr.Rothmanand earlychildhood development and so Igot the rights backfrom the publisherso I didn’t think I haven’t thoughttwiceabout partneringwith a woman andwriting it now I don’t feel badaboutitIthink that I’m kind of good at being apioneerand I think that more men haveto getinvolved in this conversation andmorewomen have to respect that ideafrom their men not onlyrespect thatIdid but expect it fromtheir their menthat they are hands-onparentand Idon’tmeanjust you knowcominghome andsittingdown and playing gamesI meanliterallyknowingsomething abouttheirchildren knowingsomething about theirbrainsknowing something about theimports of neurological development and I put tons of simplecommon-sensetipsin the bookthat arenot commonpracticebut if somebodyjust did a fewof thosethingsit would fundamentally changehowthey raise their babies or childrenRobert you mentioned a littleearlierthatyou have been trained in walking orcertified or certified for those thatdon’t know we’re working is can you talkaboutthator explain whatthatiswellmy definitionis alittle bit differentthan thetraditional Roperbecause Istudy directlywetalked to Ralphandshe planteda couple seeds in my brainthat the other golfers haven’t pickedupon that memo yetbut I my view of itisfromthe moment we’re conceivedwe are in a ball in awomb and that’scalled flexors muscles that contractoverpower muscles that extend and thetheory is is that when we comeout ofthe womb we’re perfectly straight and we’re you know everything’s groovythisis just talkingabouta normal babythere’s lots of babies thataren’t bornlike thatand I happen tohave met theguy whodiscovered the link betweenhuman beings andapes and if you thinkabout verticalityor you know if you getinvolved in that that evolutionaryconversation and you look at the picture whatyou’re looking at is theevolutionof people standingup straight or calledtheevolution of verticality so dr.Ochsidea was that we could enhance aperson’sbody’s relationship to gravityby freeing their body from patterns of tension that they’ve eitherinherited orthey’ve accumulated through the trials andtribulations of lifegive you one example I was a pretty raucous kid my quit high schooljoinedthe army went to Vietnam spent two yearsthere came back nobody said how you’refeeling oranything youwant tocommunicateso half ofmy squad gotkilled or wounded so I held allof thatstuff in and my veryfirst massage inBig Sur Californiathe woman picked upmy armand kept saying let go and I saidI amand she kept wiggling my armandfinally it let goand I understood thedistinctiontension like as anexperience and it wasthefirst timeI’deverlet go so there’s a lot thatgoeson inpeople’s livesfalling off a roofsfallingoff abikesall of that stuffthatwe think we’ve recovered from butwe’ve reallyjust buried in our bodiessoRolfing both addressesthe stuff thathappenedto us as well as the bull wasthere beforewe’re ever born and if youlook incertain I discovered this withworking on brain age your kidsI wouldlook at the kidand I’d look at theparent I’d see the same postural pattern and so we inherit patterns of posture fromour parents or families or culturewe inherit behaviorsthat turn intopostures or you could say patterns of tensionJapanesepeopleare a little bitmore constrainedthan say somebody inCaliforniaso all of thatif youreallystudy people’s bodies people’s bodies are reallya study in behavior and so byworking with their bodies and workingwith their minds you can begin to alterthose patterns on people stand upstraighter they feelbetterchronic aches and pains go away theyhave moreconfidence anda moreself-expressedare some of theresultsthat Iproduce okay and some of that canbe prevented by doing massages an earlyageoh so pretty much right from the get-goyou’re talking about doingmassage likeday1 hour 1 sounds goodI mean yeah Iknew thedifference between actuallygoing to a professionalversus goingtoa girlfriend per se you know she’s notgoing to probably rub you for 60 minutesor 80 to 90minutes but you guys you’regood haveyou yeahright you’renotgooda vintage she does butyou have to do itfor 80 or 90 minutes andyou knowdirectlysomeone’s going to get abutwouldn’t well I do wanttoback up forasecondbecause you mentioned a lotaboutposture and burying thingsthat you buryin thebody fromthe experienceandrepeated patternsand I don’t want togloss overwhat you had mentionedearlier about in different neighborhoodsbased off of income that instant instantin sets not being reported and I knowtherewas a big thinginMay inthesynthesis ofhomies perspective and thehip-hopcommunity about a year ago therewas a pillar of thehip hop communityand youknow oneofhis fans or somebodythat was under him hadcomeout like 30years later andsaid that he was beingmolestedin all this and so there wasthisargument over statute oflimitationsto actually go after someonethat has physically abused someone so what’s your take on one the statute of limitations are thentwo changingthatcycle becauseif you’re a little boy orgirland this happensto you you’reprobably displayingsome of those thosecharacteristics whileyou’re in schoolin the public placeand you’re prettymuch nothing that you’re doomed from thestart but there’s characteristicsthatmaybe others don’tknow what to look outfor well thisis a little personal storyofmy ownwhen I was younger I don’t evenremember how old Iwas but my brotherIcould neverprove that he was gay backin that those days you didn’t even talk aboutit but he would get in bedwithmeand and hump medid it like two orthreetimesthethird time it was like reallyserious I gotreally freaked outIkicked him out ofthe bedI went on myclock and you know like it was a big walk-in closetand I rememberclosingthe doorand justhiding in there for awhile and I never told anybody about itInever told my parentsand I began toact out inways that were not all thathealthyin my nextbook that I’m a writeaboutcall healing the wounds of warthey’re stuff that happened inVietnamthat nobody ever talks aboutthat I’llbe ableto talk about inthat book andwe havejusttotally glossed over it asa countryas a nationas a culture andincluding what happened in Vietnamso Idon’t knowabout thelegal aspect of itbutI knowthat I’ve walked a couple ofwomen who have spentyears of beingabusedand for them it’s not a lot butI’ve always I’ve always knownand I Isay that the bestthingfor someonewho’s experienced abuse is to findsomebody likeme who’s a who’s aaccomplished practitionerof touch tobeableto work with their bodiesto havethem release that fearor whatever it isthey’re holding in from thatincidentthat areholding them down and holdingthem backand ruining theirlivesI’vedonethat a coupletimes it’s made ahugedifferencebut there are literallythousandsand thousands and thousands ofwomen all over this countrywhere thatgoes on andif you go intoa low-incomeneighborhooda woman cannot walk aroundwithout beingsexually harassedjustguys on the street hey babe comehere Iwant thatso it’syou know same thingin schools so Idon’t know the answerto it other thanhopefully beforeI’m dead this wholerevolution of parents being in touchwiththeir children talking to themabout touchhaving them experience safetouchhealthy touch will empower thosekids to standup for themselves and saycut it out or report the personor dowhatever they needtodo so that it getsnipped in the bud as you’retalking outthinking about you knowin the news inthepast couple of years a generationagois itI remember in kindergarten or first gradeoh that’sjust a girlfriendthat’sso cuterightplay around 20 in this decadethose kids are getting suspended it’sthere oh he gave her an innocent kissbut harassmentI know as Itold you weareI grew up in the 60swhere lifewasalittle bit differentthan itisnowand I I don’tknow whatdirection thiscountryis going to go inmy best hopeis that the problem starts at homeand theycanend at home and hopefullywith my book hands on parenting parentscan begin to take a differentapproachto raisingtheir children I know in mynonprofit organization where wedistribute computerstopeoplecan’taffordto buy newones we we have abunch of peoplethatcome there tovolunteerthey’re great at fixingcomputersnumber of them don’t have thebest posture in the world and they’renot interestedinme giving them asession for free numberof during thesummer time wehave a bunch of teensthey come in and someof them can’t youcan barelyunderstand what they’resayingbecause they don’thave thecapacityto express themselves and thatstarted tohope now they’re really smartthey’re going to go to MIT and they’reprobably going toinvent somethingreallycritical butit’s not necessarilygoing toleave the meteron the growth anddevelopmentofhumanityand I think that we needtodowhatever wecan as quickly as possibleto create more peace on the planetandless violencea lot of those a lot ofkids who grow up inviolence itliterally affects their brainand what Idiscoveredin writing thisbook andexploring the subjectisthat nurturingis one of the least expensiveeasiestwayof growing positive brain cells youknow that huh logged inreallymuttering close it nurturing allyou need to do is nurture peopleyeahand I had some peoplecomeinto myoffice yesterdaygetcomputers one was alittle Hispanic girlher mother doesn’tspeakEnglishher mother’sand thataffectsthemothers behaviorso she’salways afraidtosay something becauseshe’s not sure she’s saying the rightthing and then there was a 13 yearoldgirl andherseven-year-oldsisterandhopefully just by being withmeyesterday we made a differenceeverybodywe distribute a computerto now we alsogivethem a copy of my book oh cool itisso let me ask you usually I’m a bigfan ofreflexology so if I’m looking fora massageor specifically forreflexology I would do aGoogle searchand find what I want and then you knowthe transaction what happenedwhat isthe difference between a traditional deep tissue massage andRolfingum thedifferencebetween the Eagles andthegiant yeah was a losing teamand was awinningteam so I’ve hadwell I’m spoiledbecause I had dr.Rolphwork on my bodyI studiedfor threeyears with her sonwho helped herdevelopRolfing andhe worked onmybodyand the differencebetweenthem and anybodyelse I’ve everhadis a differencebetween day andnight day andnightsnot even provideexpressionand I’ve had lots ofdifferent rompers I’ve had hundreds ofdifferent massagesand recently I havepainin my neck I’m trying to get rid ofand I went to abunch of differentpeopleI mentioned it somebody they saidoh I’vegot the perfect personandIwent to herlast Thursdayand it was the touch I’ve been looking for for alongtime so not every end andI wasthinking about this because Idon’treally have a degree and I’venever taken a course ofmassageI lost people I brought4,500 peoplethat might account for some credentialIdon’t really have a background or any trainingandearly childhood developmentbut my son could read a thousand wordsby time he was one count toa hundredinEnglish and Spanishandit’s just afunctionof finding and you know justtaking intellectual knowledge will notteach you how to have the right touchand youcan learn all theNerds and allthe bones and allthe muscles andallthat other stuffand still nothave theright touch and I don’t know yet becauseIhaven’t taughtanybody how to have theright touchbut part of it hasto dowith being connectedto yourself yourheart andyour brain like you got toknow what you’re doing you got to beconnected to your heart and not everypersonthat I’ve had work on my bodyisall that connected toall three thingsatthe same time mm-hmmmentally the difference between thatrocking rockingmassages walking’s notamassageby the way and it’s a program ofpersonal transformationand it has abeginning ithas an endit has threepartstoit and talkto Rove had arecipeif youstudythe recipe youfollow the recipeproduce the resultsand a lot of people have picked up ondeep tissue massage that’scalled thetechniquealot of people have picked upon something called structural integration some of them are good some ofthem Idon’tknow I’d give you twocentsforthemand and there’s some offers Iwouldn’t giveyou two cents for but I’maptto changethatbecause I’m going topublisheverythingI can aboutRolfingbabies Children and FamiliesI’m goingto publisheverythingI can aboutmassage for babies and children andwe’re start producing videos andwhatever I could do to train otherpeoplewhatto doand howto do it iswhat I’m goingto do now I have anotherquestion foryou that youmight nothaveaskedokay how do you keep a baby stillnagging questionit’s a good questionrightdepends on what age they are ifit’s in the verybeginningit’s notaproblembecausethey’re not sitting upthey’re notrolling over they’re notmovingaround you can pretty much welldo whatever you wantand but if ifthey’re likebe up beyond ayear oldandI’m workingon them a year old two yearsthree yearswhat I do is we havesomething called cell phones we havesomething called video games or videolearning programs or videomusicprograms orsomething likethatyou givea kid a video a cell phone and they’lljust sit thereand watch itand thenthey’ll let you do whatever you wantand really Ijust finishedthese twotwins or two and a half years oldandthat’s they looked at their iPad for the whole10 sessions and then it justmakesitvery easy you also have toget therethe kids agreement so I seldom ever work on parents on kidsI haven’t worked withtheir parents sothe parents know whatI’m doingand their parents have hadsome experience of havinga massagethemselves so if you’re a parentandyou’ve never had a massage I wouldrecommend beforeyou try to massage yourchild go get a massagefrom somebody soyou have someidea of what theexperience is you’re trying to translateto your childsome occasions nowintotalsense and it makes me thinklikeyou saidif women if there’s areluctanceor they haven’t gotten itdonelet’s just say30% of the womenthat you cancounteredyou can easilydouble ortriple thatfrom a from the male’sperspectiveso you know what approacheshave you done to get the out reach out to thefathers well my book has justgottenpublished about two weeks agoI’ve just started sending it I’vejuststarted sending it outI’m going to gobackto my officea littlebit andsendout another 40 copiesto differentpeopleand after the firstof theyearI’m going to be followingup and you mayhave heard theexpression putting thepedal to themetalum that’s justwhatI’mgoing to I’m goingtoI’m goingtogoeverywhere I can let’s see here’s aproblem I’m pretty clear thatthere’s alot ofpeople that are the head of earlychildhood developmentprogramsthat havenever had amassage so they don’t putthey don’t tie intelligence early childhood you know cognitivedevelopmentwith massage but tension affects the way you thinkand a lack oftension empowershow you think I’mroughing this littlekid now he’s about 12years old and hewas beat up pretty muchby his sisterfor thefirst coupleyearsof his lifebecause she had a disorderand she wasat homeand he’s pretty traumatizedtraumatized kid and when he’s now about12 and I met him and he sweetest kid youever want to meetbut has virtually noself-expressionand a very limitedvocabulary so what I’m doingI’ve neverdone this beforebutwhat I’m doing withevery oneof hisrocking sessions he hasto comeback with five new words andevery time he doesand he startstellingme the words youcan see this littlebeamof lightcoming over this kidswhole body so there’s waysthatyou canthere’s awavewe will have a link onour website hands on parenting org thatgives people accessto earlylearningtools and you candownload them you canusethem as splash cards and you canincorporate themin your massageand so you could do thingslike printout flashcardsthat teach your kid partsof their writing my thumb and finger andhand and arm and when you make aconnection but when you see it and yousay itandyou met you experience itthen itbecomesknowledge not justmemory so there’s lots of thingsthatpeople can dothey aren’tdoing how do Iknow they’re notdoing it inPhiladelphia alone thereare400elementary schools in those400elementary schools7 out of 10 childrencannot read write or do mathproficiently now is that the school’sfault partially but that problem startedat home and that’s where it needsendand it’sjust as simpleas massagingyourkid’s handand counting 123 4 5fingersand then counting theother hand6 789 10and then countingthe toes 1520 andyou tonic it multiplicationyoutaughtthemaddition andyoubeguntoteachthem numbers but it’s all afunction of talking to your childrenlike they’re intelligentand the moreyou do that themore smarter they’llgoodweek end of 2018 Robert and pedalto the metalI was just thinkingaboutpartnering partnershipsinto some someplaces like if I want to go to achiropractorbeing a coverinsurance andthen they may have a massage therapist in their office so after they’ve had gotten structured or you know had their chiropractic session they usually getposition tothe massage therapist haveyouthought about partneringwith thewiththat community to spread the wordabout walkingI haven’twant to be honestwith you Ihaven’tgotten that faryet for thelast20 years andI’ve devoted at least halfofmy timeand energy to collectingrepairing and distributing low-cost refurbishedtutorsto people that can’t afford tobuy newonesandyou might someonemightsaywell why doyou do that and I saywell if you everybody thatgets acomputer from me has to write a letterand if you know how to read a letter andyou know how to read between the linesthey tell you about the stress andtension in their livesbecause theydon’thave acomputer and they don’thave computersat homethey can’t gettheirhomework donethey’re failingtheycan’t communicate with their with theirschools theparents can’t find socialservices onPavaoso anyway my I’m a bigadvocateor as I said early childhooddevelopment andmy son could buy time istwoand a half turn a computer on teachhimself whatever you want to learn heknew how to useakeyboardknewall theletters could now I didvideotape thisfor thosewho are listening and don’tbelievethat it ispossible and he didknow the keyboardhe played we arrivedat math rabbit languageexpress aboutevery learning learning company programyou could imagine and I associate madesure that I associated learning with fun and not pressuringhim and he took onlearningand having fun he’s now30 onlyhe’ll be30tomorrowand so I’ve beenwrapped up in thiscomputer project forthe last20 years I run this big 8,000square foot warehouse it’s underfunded understaffedand has taken a fair amountof mytime and energy and now that I’vegot the book out I’m beginning to refocus what I want to do with my life one ofthethings I want to do is tokeep the product the computer projectgoingbecause it’s I think we’reproviding a criticalresource to thecommunity and I think it’sa shamethatthereare so fewpeople like me aroundthe countrydoing this we haven’t evenbegun toaddress the digital divideinthiscountryforget about broadband andall thatotherstuff just having devices inpeople’s homesit’s ridiculousa woman cametome yesterday got acomputershe said she works at day carecenter and they have no computers so we also have early learningsoftware thatwe’re going to makeavailable on ourwebsite hands on parenting org so I haven’tIhaven’t the question aboutif I thoughtabout I thought about partnering witheverybody in the world but so farI’m alittle bit furtherout than youshouldsay you could say most average ralpherz most average massage therapistsmostearlychildhood educators so I learnedto Vietnam how to be a point man how togo firsthow to clear out the jungleandso I’m workingon clearingout themorass of humanityto making room forsome more intelligence morelovemorepeace morepower and next yearI youknow I have no ideawhere I’m going togo who I’m goingtosee butI’m going togoeverywhere I can and seeeverybody IcanandeverybodyI canget this book infrontofthat’s what I’m interested indoing so there’s anybodylistening andthey want moreinformationyou can feelfree to contactmeon my websitenowthat’sgreatlooking at at handson parenting org andunderyou learn more tab you do havevideos so it’ll be reallyinteresting tokind of check back in periodically toseeall the latest new videos that youupload so people can get moreeducatedabout what you have tooffer itgive youa I’m holding mybreathtoday there’s afamilythat I work withand Iwroughtthe mother and fathertheir parents fourof theirchildrenwhen they were babiesthey all grew up and hadbabies andchildren their daughter is becoming anurse at NYU their youngest son lovesbeingrocked his wife gotRoftjederadvanced sessions and the two or threedaysafterthe baby was bornbefore they had the bris he asked me to come overoff the baby so thatbaby hasnow had14 sessionshis wife’s havinganother baby sometime this week ornextweekand I’m sure that as soonastheyhave the baby they’re going to callmeup and say come overand let’s rock thatbaby so that’s four generations of familiesthat I’ve touched just in thatonefamily and there’s other ones so I’ma big fanof gettingto is getting to asmanypeople as deeply as youcan andthose videoswill actually go up some ofthem if people just google my name onYouTube Robert– porkon YouTube theycan findton of videos onralphingbabies and childrenperfect okay Roberthow long is typically a sessionhopefully session with the child asopposedto an adultor is it the sameamount of time nownewbornbabies take15 to 20 minutes at the mosta toddler takes about a half an hourmaybe35 minutes 40 minutes at the mostadults usually take 45 minutesto anhourand Ijust finished two little boysthey were twin boysthey were two and ahalf years old I’m working ontwo african-americantwinsI started them when they were 6days oldshowed all the pads um I justfinished allthing like seven oreightpeople and every one of them the resultswerejust ridiculously and I think I’mgetting the more I practice the better Iget I finished a woman yesterdayand Iwasjust astounded not yesterday FridayandI videotape and photograph everybodybefore and after because if you justwent aroundthe planet one dayandvideotape peoplethey like take ahundredpeople and you say you know tellmeabout yourself your body your lifeand then you wentback a yearlatertheir stories may not have changed buteverybody would havehad a story by thetime I finish forgolfing somebody bythe timethose tensessions are overtheir stories have totallychangedmakethiswoman she said you know I’m gettingolder andfull of aches and pains Idon’t want to get up Idon’t want to goanywhereI don’t want to do anything andat sessionten I was like I don’t know Ijustfeel great nothing hurts I’ve got alot ofenergyand I feel happyso andthat shows up in the video interview soI don’t know that there’svery manypeople on the planetthat have asextensively videotaped and photograph people’s personal transformation through having their bodies work done and see when you gowhen you become when you’rewhen you go get a massageyou don’tusually go fora series of sessionsandit doesn’t usually have a beginning andan end to itnow I haven’t studied allthe massage programs in the worldI’msurethere are somethat are like thatbut I know that the way dr. RolphsetupRuffing was that it is thatwayand andthere’s specificthings that get workedon in every sessionandI use that modelin the bookhands-on parentingso eachchapter deals with a different part ofthe body andhowthat part of the bodyrelates to some areaof life forinstance your chest and shouldershavetodowith holding things in or lettingthings go so when youopen upyouliterally sit up straighter when you’reholding things inyou usually crouchedoverand one of the things I noticed isthat parentslove to give their childreneverythingthey canbuthave no concernwhatsoever for their posture their posture either their body or their posture in their lifeso I’m hopingthatthis book begins tochange that and thatwe beginto look at kidsfrom my wholeholistic perspectiveinstead of justtheir brains or just their talent orba-ba-baand I’ve now been doing thislong enoughthat I havepolice oflong termdocumentation onsome kids thatI brought twoof themwere twinstwingirls both ofthembecame state champion gymnastthey grewupthey went to Temple University theybothstudied filmand they’re bothworking inthe film industry and fromtime to time they come and do videotapes for meit’s pretty cool in it yeah Ididn’t know those babies perfect I know those babies would turn outlikethatoh and they and they both wanttheir boyfriends toget robbed andneither one of themare able toconvinceherboyfriends yet to do thatwhat abouttheother side forthetype-a folksthatyoutaught you want to get themfromfirst learning about laughing toultimately doingthetenthsessionsisit a possibility to combinesessionsno I mean you could but I don’t okay anyparticularreason I’m justa religiousRoper and dr.Rolphwould probably stabme in the back if I was tryingtodothat you have anyexperiences workingwithautistic childrenRobertI haveactually not autism per se but kids in theAsperger’s syndromeI wasworking on this one kid I actuallyhave to call him up and see whathappenshe disappeared after session8 hewasvolunteeringon a regular basis andIhaven’t seen him in a while and Ihaven’t had to wear with all the callingbut I’ll finish himit was makinga bigdifferenceand I’m workingon this kidnow who’s 30 he’s in the Asperger syndromehe was was hospitalizedfordepressionand he’s a diabeticand thebest job he ever had was justworking ina store as ashelving clerk andhedidn’thave ajob andhe wantedto getin the worldof computers sohecameandstartedvolunteering withme and hisability to think if you tellhim what to do he’lldo it after would he if after he’sdonethathe can’t lookaround and see what’swanted to need itdo you know what I’msayingyeah I’m beginning to train himto be ableto look around and see what’swanted and neededand do what’s wantedit needed instead ofjust what we tellhim to dooh I’m saying and there’s aanother kidthat workswith me he’s inthe Asperger syndromeand does not wantme to touchhim and this is what I wantto say there’smore than one way totoucha personother than puttingyourhands on them so youcould use touch asa metaphor forhow to have an impact onsomeonesowhat I’vedone with this guyI have aTechnology Director and weparted ways of number ofmonths agoandthis guy Mattum he would say you knowMatt’s havinga good day Matt’s havingabad daybut but but I had a conversationwithMatt I said Matt it’s going to betimeto step up the gamerplan are youinterested in mycoaching even thoughyou’re not interested it might be inRupp my specifically roughingit so Iused distinctionsofself-expressiontaking a standmoving in a new directionhaving more vitalityand he’s beenpickingup on that and on both him andthesoutherkid are helping me run mynonprofit organizationforlast couplemonthsmiraculousthere’s a young woman withDownsyndrome she wasprofoundly Downsyndromeand this is about 23 years agoIroughed her I met her mother at aprogram in just until that works withkids with developmental challengesand Isaid hey ifyouwant to have exponentialresults with your daughter you’ll ever getR often do another programthat Iknow aboutcalled Landmark Education sothey happen tobe wealthyenough tobeableto afford that the mother gotrobbed the father got robbed thegrandparentsgot robbed to kick outthey did all these other programsthat Irecommended and then after abouttwoyears they knockdownwent to my went toFloridaI lost touch with himI calledhim upacoupleyears agoso soglad youcalled usand when she left sheleftwith a possibilitythat her daughter wasgoing to go to harbor so when I calledher had a littletrepidation becauseIdidn’t know howit turned out and um Isaid how’s Lauren she saidwell sogladyou calledshe didn’t graduate Harvardbut she is graduatinga small Collegeherein Palm Beach little ChristianCollegeher major istheatre and dance Isaid no wayand she did and now she lives in Ohioshe’s married she drives a car and shestarted her own companycalled basketsof love or somethinglike that so mywhole pointin mostly everythingI’vedone upuntil now is to getto the pointwhere I can getmy hands on babies inincubatorsnewborn babies thatarehaving a critical timein life that’swhere ultimately Ithink I can make thebest differenceand I think it just takeit takes a certainkind of touch andknowledge that as best I cantelldoes it particularlyexist on the planetat the moment becauseas best I can tellit’s not a widespread idea however everyChildren’s Hospital andtheUnitedStates will get a copyof my bookandwe’ll takeitfrom thereandyou guys will say a prayer wish meluck oh absolutelyand you did mentionImean there’s aton of benefits from fromyour examples you talked about somechanges insocial developmentchangingtheir poise on their posture and that’sbeen fantasticare there any downsidesthough any disadvantages to massage tochildren or younger babiesI have afound onenor can I imagine onenow somebody might argue with that but if they have asmuchexperience workingwith babiesand children as I do I’llbemorethanhappy to havethatconversationwith them but I haven’tfound any any downside toitchildrenare just starvingto be touched to beloved tobe appreciatedand to beacknowledgedthat’s what I found yeahIdon’t care how much moneythey have orhow little money they have all they want todo is be known I have a hundred giftsI had a bunch ofkids in myofficeyesterday from low-income familiesthreekids that were taken outof foster careand a woman is raising them herself andit was just justthe cutest kid you everone meet nowdid you also mentionthatyou steer someofyour patientstolandmarkeducation are you a part oflandmark I being a part of itisn’texactlythe right wordbecause there’sno such thing as beinga part of it I’vebeenadductor vaultit used tobe called the Earhart seminartrainingand dr. Roth took that trainingand Werner Erhardcut RothWerner started recommendingrocking toeverybody that he was training dr.all-star recommending the Landmark Forumor theS training to everybody she wastraining and mostof the people in herearlycert in that circle at the timeactuallydid that with mewhen I tookher classit wasa requirement before Iwent any furtherthat I stay inSantaMonicaand take theAustralian I didn’twantto do itI ain’t think I needed itI thought they were crazyand I Itookitthe purpose I the reason I took itwasto demonstratethat didn’t work Ididn’t need itI was right inthe firstplace that didn’twork out toowellbecauseI was sittingthere the firstmorningwith my arms crossedlookingaround the roomjudging and evaluatingeverybody in the roomandthe guy whowasleading the course therewas a woman that kept jumping up and down and arguing withhim and he said Ijustremember this reallyclear hesaidladywhydon’t you just sitdownunfoldyour arms and see what’s possible so Ilooked her I said Wownobodyknow Idon’t know anybody here nobody knows where I’m going to get anything out of it or notI don’thaveto say anything as soon as possibleandfromthat moment onyou could say thatmylife transformedhad I not and thendr. Rolphson cameout to me out toCaliforniamoreor less rescued meinviting me tocome to his house inNewJerseyspend three months studying withhim which Idid and duringthat periodof timeI foundout that hismotherlived in Blackwood New Jersey whichwasnotvery far awayandthat she wasalwaysaskinghim to dothisand do thatand bah-bah-bah go here and go thereIsaiddocI’ll take all that off yourplateshe said fine he’s coming in andabout a week orso go pick her up at theairportso I did and I said hidoctor remembermeand shekind of gaveme that look sheaskedI saidI got good news for you I’mgoing to be your East Coast businessmanager she said isthat so do you have$5get my bag so because I had $5 to goto bag and onthe way homeshe said by the way Bob she called meaboutI need a secretaryand she hadonethe nextday and for the nextfour yearsIwas her East Coast business manager Itraveled around with her I wentplacesdid things setup her final classes thelast year of her lifeshe was in myhousetoo almost every day and had I notcompleted all myanger at my mother andmy parents and my past and I could havenever had thekind ofrelationship withthat thator with her that I did whichis pretty different than what mostofferstalk about how tough she was anuncle we didn’t have that conversationwe just hada like hey you’re the masteron the studentwhat do you needand then I’vebeen purchased and then Icame backto PhiladelphiaI ended up workingRoth Eggman Earhart’sparents and I brought a bunchof theleaders ofLandmark Education and lotsof participantsI’ve had lots of peoplethat I’ve rawtake the Landmark Forum soI’m a bigadvocate ofthatwell the bigadvocatefor whatever makes a differencewhatever rocks your boat that’s what you should do now that’s good feedback I didn’tnever connected thetwo withthelaw thing in the Landmark ForumI didn’teitheras precisely but I do and I didin the bookand I had a book coach whowho askedme a question he said who’sthe first kid youeverrockedI thoughtabout itit wasdr. Ross grandson so herson dickfelt he wastoomostly tied tohis children they were like 12 or 13 at the time and he didn’thave the space towork on them the way he wantedto so heaskedme to so I wrote I drawthat kidall thewaythroughten sessions I didsomework on the other kids I’ve donesomework onour grandchildrenand ourgreat-grandchildrenone thing I likeabout your site isthat for people thatare so new to this Imeanbe talkingabout well thing you’re talkingaboutall the benefitsand you’re talkingabout thebenefits of child and babymassageand on your siteyou you’repromotingyour book but you can you giveout the first chapter sopeople canlearn moreabout thatwe’re almost atthetop oftheour site I do want togiveyou some time to talk about yourbook on Amazonand yoursites and yourgeneral promotion if you’d like to right now well it’s a great bookyou canpurchase the e-bookeither throughAmazon or through my sitewe’re going tostartcreating blocks there’s a freefirst chapterjustthat firstchapteralone can transform how somebody thinksabout raising their babies or childrenand we’re going to add those as I said I only got the book published acoupleweeksago Igot my website the secondpart done last weekI’mnot doneputtingeverything in thereup there I wantto I recently publishedan article on roughing babiesChildrenandFamilies that was published intheloftInstitute’sJournal and it’s goingtogo up on that site Iwant the bookIlove the idea that it can make adifferenceIlove the idea of being ableto get it toeveryparent in everyparent’s pantsand them using theirhands tocreatea new way of relatingtotheir children I was with someone forThanksgiving and it was I couldn’tfigure out when I came back people saidhow wasThanksgivingand I said on ascale of one to ten I wasafive but itwas reallyworse than that and there wasno love inthat family I waswith thatday except for onewoman that I know andIjust really realized that howimportant it love isjust a magicalthingyou know we hear all thesongsabout the magic of love and touches themis a great way you justhold somebody’shandgive them a hugPat them on the backdo somethingphysical with your childand it willmake a differencein how they grow uphow they relate to you how they respect youand how you respect themI have thatrelationship on my sonhe’s 30 years oldaskingLee for hisbirthdayand he saidnothingand I said when you were growingup Igave you everything I could didn’tI he said you didand it doesn’t matterif you have a lot of moneyas long asyou can giveyour kid everything you goteverythingof you that you can give themis what willmake a difference and howyourelateto erase yourbabies yourchildrenwell said well saidagain youhave beenin tuneto another episode ofintrinsic motivation from my homies perspective we the honor ofinterviewingRobertTimPark who isthe author of handle onparentinga practicalguide to massagefor healthier happier smarter kidswiththat I amHamza and I am Davidand wethink equallyproperly Robert weappreciate it thank youverymuch it was a greatinterviewandI appreciate you giving methe time thank yougo Eagles have a good holidaythank you[Music] thanksagain for checking outanotherepisode of intrinsic motivation from ourhomeless perspective podcast pleasecheck usout on our website at intrinsicmotivationdot life where you can clickonthe speak pipe button and leave anysuggestionsfor a future podcast thatyou likeus tocover also check us outon our social mediasites we have aYouTube channelFacebook pageiTunes podcastin addition to stitcherand Google Playall under intrinsicmotivationfrom a homeys perspectivecheck you out nexttime have a great day

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